True Balance Life Coaching

“Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible / it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.” – Barbara De Angelis

Opening your heart to true love can be tricky if you don’t know how to love yourself. If you have harmful out-dated programming running though your head, you may have tricked yourself into believing you are not worthy of love. This is not true. No matter what may have transpired before this moment, no matter how much time you have spent dwelling in your disasters, you are beloved. You come from great love. So how is it possible that you could you not be the embodiment of great love? Learning to love yourself is an exhilarating, liberating experience. Self-love begins by summing up the courage to face the monsters under the bed, and learning how to savor the sweetness in your life anyway.

• What does unconditional love look like for you?

• What would it feel like to open your heart and trust your instincts.

• What might it be like to let go of the notion that you are not worthy of love.

• What does it mean to learn to love without an attachment to the outcome?

All of these questions lead back to you. You simply must give yourself permission to explore what each curiosity looks like for you. Take your time and answer each question from your heart.

Are you ready to enjoy a deeply satisfying love affair with yourself? Here are some fun and supportive suggestions to begin your loving journey.

Love Letters

Write a sweet love letter to yourself from your higher self. Find some beautiful stationery or a greeting card that suits you and go for it! Here is an example of how your letter may begin:

Dear Lover,

I think you are an extraordinary woman. Your kindness, generosity and beauty are beyond measure…

I often wonder if you can fathom how much I care for you…

Let the rest of the letter flow through until the letter is complete. Drop the letter in the mail and receive it a day or two later with a knowing smile. Your ability to accept and share healthy love begins with learning how to love yourself.

Attraction Inventory

What are you wildly attracted to? Make a list!

Here is a tally of things that light me up! The scent of Shoyeido Haku-un incense, the elegant shape of orchids, the way light dances through the trees, the music of Peter Gabriel, the poetry of Tagore and Rumi, capturing images of the sun setting on Lake Michigan, the canals of Bruges and China Town in San Francisco, the way my husband says “Hello Beautiful”, the Dalai Lama’s smile, and loads of unabashed laughter.

How about you?

To begin, key in on color, fragrance, texture and then move to music, literature, environments, and so on…

What can you learn about yourself through this sort of introspection?

What is it about your desires that relate to the qualities of the unique lover you are.

Did you know there is not another divine being alive who is just like you. You are special. You matter. You are worth every ounce of gentleness, love, comfort and self-care you can muster up.

Learning to love who you are is your choice. You decide you are lovable. You decide to be in love with being alive. It’s all about YOU.

How do I love thee? Please begin counting the ways…

Ask Yourself this: What I Love about ME?

Stop reading this column right now. Grab a pen and paper and write three or more things you love most about being who you are.

Now that you have made your list, think about the kinds of activities you can embrace to invite more love into your life. Here is an example of the things I do to foster my love affair with ME.

Loving ME means:

• Making time each day to schedule some time just for me. Whether writing in my journal, enjoying a cup of herbal tea, listening to uplifting music or reading an uplifting book or favorite blog. I honor myself by making my interests a priority.

• I will surrender when I’m overwhelmed or stressed out. I will ask for help and excuse myself form non-essential activities.

• I will get some fresh air and move my body every day in some way – even to walk a few blocks to the village post office for our mail. The benefits of breathing in fresh clean air and moving my body equal more energy, better sleep and remaining strong and flexible.

• I no longer allow people to suck the life out of me with complaints and negative energy. If a relationship becomes one-side or overly frantic, it’s time to gently remove myself from the scene.

• I easily take responsibility for poor choices and say I’m sorry. I know how to forgive myself and move on instead of waging a full-on war with myself. As a woman who puts her foot in her mouth a lot, I am learning to stop wallowing in guilt or shame for sharing my truth.

• I laugh at myself a lot!

Are you taking yourself too seriously these days? When was the last you laughed your ass off? The health benefits of laughter are far-ranging. Studies have shown that laughter can help relieve pain, bring greater happiness, and even increase immunity. Laughter provides a physical and emotional release. Want a good laugh? Check out this recording I made for a friend who was missing the sound of my big hearty laugh. Shann’s Laugh.

I coach several extraordinary women who are learning at the ages of 30, 40, 45 , 50+ how to love, accept and laugh at themselves – just as they are; powerful women who have been taught to put family, friends and work ahead of their own health, happiness and peacefulness.

Witnessing and supporting them with their self-loving transformation is an extraordinary blessing.

You deserve to enjoy a lifelong love affair with the person you share most of your time with while you are here. Who is that person you ask? Why silly, it’s YOU!

You have a magical new year before you; a clean slate to discover how you want to live, love and laugh – from this moment forward. Cheers to a fresh opportunity to open your heart and allow for more LOVE.

Many of my clients and friends have been noticing a powerful undercurrent in their lives. Something that they can’t quite get a bead on. In conversation we found that in order to identify this underlying feeling, we must come from a nourishing place of  self-care.  You simply must ease your mind, calm your body, and feed your soul to witness what is happening under the surface.

Ease Your Mind

Easing your mind involves being fully present and aware of this very moment. Eliminate the guilt and shame you carry with you from your past and put an end to the unfounded worries about your future. Create more time for gratitude, abundant thinking, a positive attitude and lots of laughter.

Begin your healthy intentions by:

• Creating a gratitude journal – Start making a daily list of what you are grateful for.
• Joy Spotting- Notice every little moment that fills you with joy.
• Reading motivational books and blogs – Check out my blog roll for some great inspirational mojo.
• Listening to uplifting music, podcasts and audio books.
• Being aware of your self-talk – Are you gentle and kind to your self?
• Lightening up – Things do not have to be so frigging serious. Seriously!
• Lots and Lots of Laughter – Who are you sharing your time with? Do they make you laugh?

Calm Your Body

As important as easing your mind is to your mental health, exercise and relaxation also play a key role in your well being. Our bodies are marvelous creations that carry us through life. You deserve extreme self care. Just like a beautiful flowering plant, your healthy body needs rich soil and water to create a full and healthy bloom.
Caring for a calming your body includes:

• Regular massage therapy – Bodywork should be a regular part of your health care.
• Relaxing bubble baths – If you have a tub, get in it!
• Luxurious naps – You deserve an occasional nap.
• Moving your body -walking, going to the gym, enrolling is a dance class, run, stretch, and play!
• Healthy nutrition – Fresh fruit, veges, whole foods.
• Care for your mental body image – I dare you to look in the mirror and greet yourself each morning with “Hello Gorgeous!” Be kind to your self by banishing negative body talk.

Nourish Your Soul

Discovering true balance includes creating time to feed your spirit. Nurturing yourself spiritually allows you to ground yourself in your body keeping you anchored, healthy and alive. Caring for the soul includes eliminating the weeds that show up and choke out your natural soulful beauty.
Nourish your soul by:

• Ridding yourself of interruptions and making time to be still.
• Get in touch with your spirituality through peaceful time in prayer or meditation.
• Plan time for your creative pursuits – photography, journaling, art projects and music.
• Get unplugged – Turn off the television. radio, computer, pager and any other electronic device.
• Focus on your breath – Deep cleansing breaths in through your nose, filling your lungs to capacity and then letting it all go with a sigh and exhalation.
• Share your time with people who make you smile until your face hurts.
• Get out of the house and get close to nature – The miracle of water, woods and wildlife will rejuvenate your spirit.

You deserve real moments of solitude, self-reflection, play,  and relaxation.  Self-care leads to a clear and focused state of mind.

The month of July has been insane!  Launching my new book, coaching, kayaking, hiking, beach days, and Friday romps with my daughter has made for an extraordinarily busy time.  Being in tune with the warm weather, ever changing blooms, and angel painted skies is a summer blessing. With that being said, I am noticing that I still need to create some additional ME time.  Loads of summer activities tend to kick my butt if I’m not making space to sink in and also enjoy the ‘living is easy’ part of summertime. Just last week I was only a few steps away from falling in the brink!

How are you caring for yourself this summer?

Are you allowing for some time to take a breath?

You Deserve to take better care of  yourself…

Living a vibrant, luscious life is about creating opportunities for pleasure, relaxation and self-exploration.  It’s about knowing who you are and expressing your unique gifts in the world through gratitude, passion, connection and abundance.  You cannot experience a luscious life when your well is dry.

The first step to this journey of caring for yourself is to commit to making one small change,  and experiencing what kind of impact your healthy choice can have on your life.

Check out thee five simple ideas designed to help you take better care of yourself this summer:

Carve out some ‘YOU’ time.  Everyone needs time alone to be peaceful and recharge. Start with 2-5 minutes for silent reflection. Be LAZY! Read a few pages in a novel, take a walk, make a yummy new recipe. It really doesn’t matter what you do, as long as it’s all about YOU!

Creative exploration. Enjoy the experience of creation. Paint, sculpt, cook, garden, play! While you are in the midst of luscious creation, I dare you to make a big fat mess!

Get it down in writing.  Self expression through journaling is a marvelous tool for clearing your mind. It’s a blast to witness and record your thoughts as they hop around the page like a juiced up water bug on the river.

Joy Spotting. Witness and log all of your joyful moments.  Each summer day has potential for many small moments that bring joy and happiness. My family shares five “happy moments” each night at the dinner table. We’ve found this is an excellent way to stay positive and learn more about each other.

Move your body. When we are caught up in crossing items off our to-do lists, we can tend to neglect nurturing and exercising our healthy bodies. Whether you dance, walk, run or ride, your body and spirit will thank you for the gift. Get up and move your body!