True Balance Life Coaching

Thomas J. Leonard is one of the founder fathers of Life Coaching. He wrote this article in 1996 before coaching became an intregal part of the self-help business landscape. My mentor coach was trained by Thomas and I am grateful to learn his teachings through her.

There are many things that a coach and client can work on. This list below contains those that *I* would work on with a client.

1. Greatly Simplify Their Life

This means to reduce the number of roles, commitments, goals, projects and obligations, thus reducing stress of all types. It’s not easy to simplify, and a coach who gone through this process is the perfect partner. Start with the Clean Sweep Program and progress to the Time Peace Program and keep simplifying from there. When you’ve simplified what you already have, you’ll have the room (and RAM) to both enjoy life and people TODAY, but also to get to know yourself better.

2. Think Differently and Bigger

Over the years, we’ve all collected a series of assumptions, beliefs, expectations, morals and opinions about how life works/should work, who we are/should be, how to choose/make decisions, etc. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), we’ve outgrown many of these truths and formulas, but don’t know that we have, or don’t better ones to replace the old ones. So we grow in circles, making only incremental progress. This is common. Usually, it takes an external event or a change agent like a coach, to offer fresh concepts and suggestions that cause us to shift, leap, change, alter paradigms and purge some of the old stuff. This is essential to do because we humans needs to keep up with the most current thinking and approaches to life if success is to find us. It’s hard to find gold with a shovel these days; more advanced tools are required.

3. Acquire Far More Than Is Needed

This is crucial, because humans ARE animals and subject to the same instinctual reactions and fears and physical limitations. Your clients’ lives will NOT the be same when they have deliberately added/substantially increased their time, money, skills, energy and community. And, as personal needs get satisfied/met, people become far more effective and can grow intellectually, spiritually and emotionally at a far faster rate, without stress. The Personal Foundation/Reserve Index is the program to use with clients in this area.

4. Become Web Savvy

The Web isn’t just an interesting electronic tool anymore than a book is an interesting stack of paper. The Web, just like the telephone was, is a unifying force among those smart enough to connect. If you think the Berlin Wall was a big divider, then you’ll understand that the Web will separate the haves from the have nots, within 10 years. It’s THAT significant. Don’t let your clients be shut out.

5. Become a Fabulous Communicator

Communication (between people, networks, systems, computer chips) has made possible much of progress of the past century. The telegraph, telephone, television, fax, email and the Internet are the newer electronic tools of communication. Unfortunately, the human tools of communication (listening, vocabulary/articulation, awareness/sensitivity, relatedness) have not kept up (at all!). Can you image a world where humans communicate as well as machines/systems do? Awesome. Enter the coach — a communication specialist. You can help your clients with their languaging, phrasing, and the other humans tools of communication so that they become FAR more effective and able to financially/personally benefit from both the electronic and human tools of communication. It’s as simple as this: The better you communicate, the more money you’ll make. Communication skills training is a highly profitable investment and an under leveraged skill set.

6. Become Very, Very Sensitized

This is an interesting one. A case could be made that most humans are fairly numb (aka not-sensitized) due to conditioning, addictions, the rearing process, lack of awareness, survival-based goals/lifestyles, emotional damage, overwhelm, etc. Hey, it happens! When you ARE sensitized, you pick up on things/changes quickly, respond immediately to problems and opportunities, solutions/innovative ideas occur to you often and you’re able to benefit from all 5 (well, 6) of your senses. A coach can help to sensitize a client in many ways: The Personal Foundation Program/process, discussing the notion of becoming sensitized, setting goals in this area and getting on/advancing on a spiritual path. There are few professions, if any, other than coaching, which offer this unique, healthy and sustainable approach to success and personal development.

7. Become Highly, Highly Effective

A highly effective person is someone who gets the smart thing done in hours, not months. And a “magically” effective person can get the same thing done in seconds. Is effectiveness at this level a worthwhile focus for a client? Of course. Why? Because time is money and the less time it takes to produce the right outcome, the more money is made/saved. Do clients often come to a coach and say, “I’d like to become magically effective?” No, they don’t. But imagine what would happen over the client’s life if YOU made that a focus of their coaching. Talk about an investment of time/money that keeps on rewarding the client!

8. Become Very Selfish

Yes, I really do mean selfish, but not in the take-take-take or needy-needy way. When your client understands that their being truly selfish (doing what they most want to do just because they want to, etc.) is good, they’ll be on their way to REALLY making a contribution. It’s my view that service, adding value and altruism/contribution occur as a RESULT of the ‘giver’ being highly selfish. This is not a common view, but when I see all of the people ‘giving selflessly’ out there — and how their giving is either an extension of their ego, a power trip, a way to get needs met or some other psych-dynamic, I start believing more in the selfish-as-a-gift theory.

9. Become THAT GOOD At Something

There are many, many competent professionals. There are many incompetent professionals. And there are even a good number of experts. The trick is to encourage your clients to become THAT GOOD at something. One of the best ways to become THAT GOOD is to specialize or adapt what is already known to serve a new or narrow market. I also say that, when the other 9 areas of this list are being worked on, your client will become THAT GOOD at something far sooner, thanks to your coaching. One of the tricks to becoming THAT GOOD at something involves being yourself, trusting/investing in your intuition, being around creative people and a heck of a lot of experimenting. If a person’s life is to busy/full, their needs aren’t met, etc., they won’t be able to devote the energy/time that it takes to become THAT GOOD at something. You may want to discuss/create a vision with them — this often gets the client thinking beyond themselves/reality and catalyzes creativity.

10. Understand Themselves and Life

We humans are amazing creatures and we are JUST beginning to understand how we work, how genes/memes affect our thinking/behavior and how we can retain our humanness, yet still use the many electronic tools of our age. Distinctions, advanced phrasing, attainments and awareness are all available to help us understand and make the most of who we are and what we have. Very few clients have had a class called Humans 101; you can provide this — it may be a client’s missing link to success. When you know yourself, everything else makes sense.

Coaching came into its own in the 80′s, fed by the human potential movement, counseling and therapy, business and organizational consulting. As change became the norm rather than an exception in corporations, coaching provided one option to guide outsized, downsized, or self-maximizing employees.

Over the past ten years, coaching has spread beyond the business world. People from all walks of life are now hiring coaches to assist them in achieving a variety of personal and professional goals. The growth in coaching is evidenced by the increasing numbers of coaches joining the International Coaching Federation (ICF), the professional association that sets ethics and standards for the coaching profession and certifies coaches.

According to the ICF, coaching can be defined as “an ongoing partnership that helps clients produce fulfilling results in their personal and professional lives. Through the process of coaching, clients deepen their learning, improve their performance, and enhance their quality of life.

The name ‘coaching’ uses a metaphor from the sports community, where coaching is an established activity. No team of athletes would consider trying to reach excellence without a coach. In being coached, one does not have to admit either to needing help or even to having a problem, so the shame-based feelings often triggered by counselling are by-passed. It is no disgrace to have a coach, when even Tiger Woods has had several!

Some of the people who popularized coaching were business men like Thomas Leonard, who launched the financially remunerative Coach U (and now Coachville), women like Cheryl Richard, from her position as Oprah’s coach and writer of two very successful books, Frederick Hudson of the Hudson Institute, an academic, and Mary Beth O’Neill, from the Leadership Institute of Seattle, an organizational development consultant.

Counselors and therapists were not in the vanguard of the coaching movement. However, as coaching becomes more popular and more counselors discover it, more counselors are found in various coach-training programs, and are either including coaching as one of the services they offer or transitioning from a counseling practice to a coaching practice.

How is Coaching Different from Therapy?

One of the basic questions counselors wrestle with as they think about coaching is, ‘How is it different from what I already do’? One of the difficulties in answering such a question is therapists do widely different things. (So do coaches, of course.)

If one compares coaching to psychodynamic models, for example, one might say that therapy focuses on issues of pathology, healing and unresolved psychological issues of the past. Coaching on the other hand, begins with the present and assists clients in setting very clear, and specific goals that they want to achieve in the future. While the past may be discussed on occasion, it is addressed only in the context of discovering what is blocking the client from moving forward. The focus is always on movement and taking action, not on insight or understanding.

Counselors from the Solution Focused or more systemic end of the therapy spectrum often say that they already focus on the present and future as well and do not see coaching as very different from what they do. However, the words, ‘solution focused therapy’ may still imply that there is a problem for which a solution needs to be sought. In coaching a client may be seeking solutions, but they are more often seeking to enhance their performance (and sometimes reach excellence) in a given area of their life.

In addition, the word ‘therapy’ conjures up the notion that someone is in need of help or a cure. Coaching clients choose to work with a coach because they want to, not because they need to.

Another difference is that coaches, as contrasted to counselors, are not seen as experts. Rather, they are seen more as a person with a set of skills they use to support people to achieve goals. A coach can be seen more like a partner or buddy that you check in with from week to week to review your progress, vision for the future and set new goals.

In an article entitled, Coaching Vs. Therapy: a Perspective, Hart, Battner and Leipsic asked coaches who were trained both as therapists and as coaches to report on the critical difference they saw between coaching and therapy.

Their answers varied, but one important difference reported was in the relationship. They reported themselves as more “self-revelatory,” as “having a skilled friendship”, and as being “in partnership.” The boundaries are looser, transference issues are not addressed and they use more humor, are more actively engaged.

“You can admit you know them in the grocery store,” one respondent said. Also, they ‘expect more” from their coaching clients. One counselor reported that “coaching is not such a tender zone as therapy was.”

They also reported that there was far more flexibility in the delivery of coaching. Subjects interviewed reported coaching clients using telephone sessions, e-mail, and personal meetings over lunch or even on the golf course. Some sessions were an hour, some five minutes.

Nuts and Bolts: How Coaching Works

Coaching usually happens over the phone, although it can also occur in person.
Therapists often find it difficult to imagine that they could coach without being face to face with their clients. Coaches and their clients– usually do not find this a difficulty. To the contrary, it can be an advantage as it is more convenient for both client and coach, does not involve travel time or costs, offers clients more anonymity, and encourages coaches to develop exceptional listening skills.
Coaching fees range from $200-800 per month for 3-4, 30 minute individual sessions. Usually included in this fee is additional e-mail and brief telephone calls on an as-needed basis. Fees are usually higher for in-person coaching and/or longer sessions. Fees for corporate coaching can be as much as $1000 + a month. Fees for group telephone meetings can range from $100-$150 or more per month for two or three 1-hour sessions.

The Coaching Process

When a client first contracts with a coach, they are usually sent an intake package electronically that includes a contract to be signed, several forms (e.g. questions about life goals and plans) and (sometimes) assessments and tests to be completed (perhaps assessing values, behaviors, personality styles, etc.) Clients often send their coach a weekly prep form prior to each session which focuses on accomplishments in the previous week, challenges they are currently experiencing and what they want to accomplish with their coach in the upcoming session.
During the coaching call, the coach will ask what the client wants, listen to the answer and ask questions that assist clients to clarify, envision what they want, address limits or blocks, identify gaps, and help them move towards taking action. Typically by the end of the session, the coach will want to know three things from the client:

• What will the client do over the next week?
• When will s/he do it by?
• How will the client know s/he has been successful and how will the coach know the client has been successful at achieving his or her goal(s)

Future Directions

As the coaching profession continues to evolve, several trends are likely to become more obvious:

1. For the consumer, the availability of coaches will mean a change in the way some people seek support, especially those clients outside EAPs and agencies.
2. Some of the distinctions between therapy and coaching will be made more explicit and will becoming clearer to the public. People will know when they want to seek therapy or coaching. Some US regulatory boards (e.g. Colorado) that license therapists have suggested that coaching fits under their definition of therapy. This could cause problems for coaches who are not licensed therapists in those states. Organizations like the ICF and many therapists who are now coaches are addressing these issues, attempting to sort them out.
3. An increasing number of therapists will receive coach training and offer coaching services instead of, or in addition to, their therapy services.
4. Training programs for coaching will increasingly be developed in academe. The University of Sidney in Australia is developing a Coaching Psychology program.
5. More sophisticated models of coaching will continue to emerge incorporating theories and concepts from psychology and therapy.
6. Coaches perhaps will be required to have training in assessment for depression, suicide, abuse, and even grief counseling so they know both when to appropriately refer clients for therapy and what to do in order to avoid risking lawsuits.
7. Therapists are likely to refer to coaches more often once their clients reach a place where they are ready to take more action or achieve excellence in their lives. Coaches will increasingly refer a client to therapy when the client seems inappropriate for coaching or gets stuck on an issue that is not being resolved in coaching.

Resources

Books
Co-Active Coaching (1998). Laura Whitworth, Henry Kimsey House and Phil Sandahl. Davies-Black Publishing.

Handbook of Coaching, The (1999). Frederick Hudson. Jossey-Bass.
How to Become a Coach: A Guide for Counsellors and Therapists (2002). Sue Bond & Juliet Austin.

Articles

A Week in the Life. A Burnt-out Therapist Becomes a Successful Coach. Patrick Williams. Psychotherapy Networker, May/June, (2001).

Coaching versus Therapy: A Perspective. Consulting Psychology, Volume 53, No. 4, 229-237. (2002). Vicki Hart, John Blattner & Staci Leipsic.

Websites

The Institute for Life Coach Training (ILCT)

Coachville

The International Coaching Federation (ICF)

How to Become a Coach

By Sharon Brain, MA, RCC and Juliet Austin, MA, Marketing Coach, Consultant & Copywriter, Contributing Writers.