True Balance

Oh my!

This month, each of my brilliant clients is feeling overwhelmed by the abundant distractions that keep showing up in their lives,  and the limited amount of time available to participate in each experience.  Too many choices and “Shiny Lures” of distraction seem to be everywhere causing acute experiences of pleasure and pain.   These powerful women want to have it all,  but occasionally get lost in the land of potent distraction.  Here are some ways you can address the anxiety surrounding an attractive diversion, get clear about your choices, and move forward on the path of your choosing.

I learned a great lesson from Arleen Boyd (better known as “Aloha” Arleen) when I interviewed her for my new book,  Life on Your Terms.  She said: “Just because you’re an entrepreneur doesn’t mean you’re living life on your terms. Recognize your purpose, and stay vigilant on that path. What I’ve found is that you can have it all—you just can’t DO it all at the same time.”

This is sage advice from a woman who started her own telecommunications company in the early 1980s and enjoyed the cutthroat business world and her CEO status until she realized that she was not running her business: it was running her.  My recent conversations with powerful women like Arleen nudged me to share some supportive ideas about living in a world filled with desirable distractions.  I am happy to report that today, Arleen brings her expertise to companies in the area of social media, building her clients’ internet presence to lift awareness, build brands, generate income, and keep customers. She strongly believes in surrounding herself with a network of peers who are also in positions of leadership. This network has allowed her to reach out and collaborate, and to stay grounded.

Supportive tips to keep in mind when you are snagged by a provocative shiny lure:

Experience and dream about the potential of the interesting, inviting and sexy opportunity - Part of the joy of being an entrepreneur is following your passion and making your own decisions. Another part is allowing yourself to dream and explore enticing opportunities.  You don’t have to say YES to every exciting offer.  Remember that you have only so many units of you to share with the world.

Allow 24 -48 hours or more to make decision on your investment or involvement - Have you ever been fully drawn into something immediately, only to find that a couple days later the thrill is gone? When I am read to chomp on a shiny object, I allow myself to get fired up and then let the idea / opportunity simmer. Immediate deadlines be damned! Let the idea sit and then revisit your energy in a day or two.

Explore the potential outcome of letting the shiny object pass you by - What is the worst case scenario if you do not pounce on the object of your immediate affection? Can you live with this potential outcome? Is this an experience you can enjoy a year from now?

Is the fear of loss motivating you to take action? - Often we can get caught up in a brilliantly crafted offer and lose our sense of balance out of the fear of missing out on an opportunity.  Marketers know how to push our buttons.  You know the drill: Only 2 spots left for blah blah blah… Don’t miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity. RIGHT.  When an offer resonates with you and is in your best interest, things will naturally fall into place. Do all you can to blow off fear-based involvement in ANY activity.

Does this shiny opportunity fit in with your vision for your business and your life? - This question will help you make solid decisions. If  you don’t have a vision for your business, it is time to begin creating one.  I’ve found the people I work with who have a plan or dream have a much easier time discerning which lures to chase.

For those of you who have a voracious appetite for all things shiny and new,  I feel for you.  Remember that you can have it all–You just can’t fully enjoy and experience it all at the same time.

Hutchison’s Law: “Any occurrence requiring undivided attention will be accompanied by a compelling distraction.” - Robert Bloch

Image courtesy of Peter Forton

The sankalpa I choose during Yoga Nidra meditation is “I am Peace” or “I am Peaceful.”  Sankalpa is defined as the resolve, determination and good intention that resonates and aligns sublimely with your essence.  Cultivating and sharing teachings to create a more peaceful love filled existence means everything to me as a woman, wife, mother, author and life coach.

7  Steps to Create More Peace in Your Life:

Positive Thinking

• Attitude is everything … Why not start by choosing happiness?  The next time you are cranky, think about how funny you are all puckered up and pissed off. Angry? Get over it!

Breathe

• Breathe deeply for 5 or 6 rounds of your breath every hour. When you pay attention to your breath your world will settle down.

Emotional Energy

• Let go of any excess baggage and learn how to tap into your happy place. Everyone has a crappy day … Learn to let it go.  Say so long, bon voyage, later days to that big ugly sack of sticky darkness.

Self Love

• Love yourself as you are - in this moment. You are an amazing critter. You matter.  Embrace your quirks, strengths, deficiencies and human kindness. There is nobody in the Universe quite like you!

Gratitude Power

• Begin and end each day thinking about what you are thankful for. Consider writing letters of gratitude to the people you love in your life. Let them know you think they are all kinds of alright. Share your Love!

Meditation

• Get centered by creating time for guided or silent meditation.  As little as two minutes counting your breath daily will make a difference. Do it … No excuses.

Knowing

• Your life is more important than you know. You are the author of your life’s story. What kind of life do you want to create? Begin …

Consciously embrace each step and become aware of how much internal peace you can create.  Peace begins within you and radiates out to everyone you encounter.

“If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there’d be peace.”

- John Lennon

One of the definitions of overwhelm is being buried or drowned
beneath a huge mass.  Feel familiar?

My particular brand of stress is more like … suffocating skin
crawling madness. I used to be the mistress of overwhelm. The
discomfort was intense and yet there was a rush involved with
pulling off the impossible. It took years for me to become aware of
the damaging ripple effect caused by my needless Empire State Building
HIGH masochistic expectations.

The good news is you can learn to minimize this paralyzing feeling
by facing each stressful situation and taking action.

Most of the professional people I play with are confident, talented and
risk averse people who are really good at connecting the dots.
Their ability to coordinate ideas, people, places, projects and
attract synergistic energy is astounding. Their keen sense of
knowing combined with pure unbridled courage manifests a stream of
opportunities.

Often these fine characteristics and what seem like unlimited ideas,
options and self expectations can be distracting and create a sense of panic and
overwhelm.

Why?

Because people of this creative caliber can do ANYTHING.

Connecting the dots is a blessing if you are conscious enough to
apply this talent to your own “in the weeds” experience. Learning
to go with the flow when things get dicey is a tremendous gift.

You can practice moving through life with grace and slay your
anxiety by incorporating some the following ideas:

* Take deliberate action a by choosing and revisiting your
priorities every week. A list of targeted activities will help you
remain on task.

* Carry out regular self-care. This may mean taking time out to
get a haircut, massage or a soak in the bath tub. Take some alone
time to read a good book, take a walk and get out of your head.

* Visualize your ideal accomplishment, and then make a list of
tasks that can be addressed to bridge and traverse where you want
to be in the natural flow of things.

* Determine what projects you can delegate. Asking for help is
freeing. It is in our nature to want to help each other. Just ask!

* Eliminate any unnecessary tasks and activities. Do what you
absolutely must, and junk what isn’t an absolute necessity. Allow
yourself to say NO.

* Give yourself credit for all of the projects you DO complete.
(small items and incremental steps count)

* Talk to a trusted friend, life coach or mentor. Get clarity
by being with people who you admire, people who are good at
managing stress.

* Listen to Anxiety Slayer Podcasts or visit the Anxiety Slayer Blog.

The next time you are feeling overcome with a sense of impending
doom, take a deep breath, gather your thoughts and let the slaying
begin.

“All confidence is acquired, developed. No one is born with
confidence. Those people around you who radiate confidence, who
have conquered worry, who are at ease everywhere and all the time,
acquired their confidence, every bit of it.”
~ David J. Schwartz