True Balance Life Coaching

I began the day growling. From the moment I rolled out of bed I felt challenged by the new day. Horrifically vivid dreams about receiving brain surgery from a former colleague (poking around in my brain with chopsticks) didn’t help matters. What would Freud say about this sort of dream?

Anxiety and low-level seething filled my every breath. My inner critic was on the loose and everything appeared to be spiraling out of control. Thankfully I know how to care for myself through this sort of emotional upheaval and eventually found my way back to center. But first I allowed time for ‘larger than life’ venting and immature antics.

How do you behave when you wake up with your growl on?

I seem to like muttering slanderous comments under my breath or judging random people for their poor driving skills. Often I begin cleaning every inch of my living space. I used to slam things around like an angry toddler. Thankfully, I’ve outgrown most of the days involving a once notorious ’bad temper’.

Here are few suggestions to support you when you get up on the wrong side of the bed.

Allow yourself to freak out for up to one full hour. Let your inner critic go wild with judgement, anger and madness. Just let your mood be what it is, and then you can invite the inner-crazy to move on. You will find that your Grrr falls away when you allow yourself to purge your emotions.

Humor is also a great help. It can be amusing to witness your bad-ass, warrior self spinning out. By simply witnessing your own bad mood you can naturally see how silly it is to be so ticked off at the world.

Another helpful tip is to call a good friend and ask for permission to go stark raving lunatic mad for 5 minutes without interruption, feedback or solutions. Then buy her a pint or some flowers and say thank you. This will lead to much laughter about your tirade of straight-crazy silliness.

Honestly, The best thing you can do is vent, breathe and smile. Remember, no matter what comes up,  you are a bright, intelligent, tenacious, caring and honorable.  Is there an acronym for that?

“This too shall pass.”

“Trying to push away our emotional distress can throw us into “cognitive shock” that turns our mind into a muddle.”

- Ezra Bayda

I recently read a great article by Ezra Bayda and simply had to share it with you.

The message in this piece is that it is absolutely fundamental for us to realize that difficult situations and feelings are our opportunity to awaken into a more genuine way of being.  No matter how much we try to avoid things that are unpleasant, we simply must experience the darkness in order to live in the light.

Here are five  questions to cut through anxiety and emotional distress and help you remove your self-imposed prison walls and move forward on your path of clarity.

When your energy is dark and frantic,  ask yourself five key questions:

1. What is going on Right Now?

- Honestly acknowledge the situation you are experiencing. Define your experience from a place of greater height. How does the situation look if you gently rise up above it, changing your perspective by looking at the issue from a macro point of view.

2. Can I see this as My Path?

-Difficult situations help us see our true path and how we can help ourselves and others. Will this experience inform your future? How can you use life’s letdowns as a guide or path to understanding?

3. What is my most Believed Thought

- Take a snapshot of your mind and uncover your deep-seated beliefs. What thoughts continue to surface for you?  Ezra describes this as taking a snapshot of your mind. This inquiry will help you uncover limiting thoughts that you may have been carrying around for years.

4. What is This?

- Be still and ask the question, What is this? Then notice how you feel. Check in with your physical being; face, chest, stomach, posture.  When I find myself triggered, I notice a tightness of breath and a heightened skin-crawling electrical current. Fight or fight kicks in gear. Thankfully, I am learning how to be with the emotion and witness my physical energy.

5. Can I let this Experience Just Be?

- It’s more painful to try to push what you are feeling away to comfort yourself than it is to BE with the experience, learn from the experience and let it pass. This is the quickest way to release the hook of the trigger.

Ezra reminds us that these questions are just pointers to help us understand the bigger picture and uncover the core of our self-imposed anger, fear and confusion.

• How have learned to release the hook of an emotional trigger?

• Do you have a story about being with your discomfort? What happened?

Read the entire article in the July issue of Shambhala Sun.

Oh my!

This month, each of my brilliant clients is feeling overwhelmed by the abundant distractions that keep showing up in their lives,  and the limited amount of time available to participate in each experience.  Too many choices and “Shiny Lures” of distraction seem to be everywhere causing acute experiences of pleasure and pain.   These powerful women want to have it all,  but occasionally get lost in the land of potent distraction.  Here are some ways you can address the anxiety surrounding an attractive diversion, get clear about your choices, and move forward on the path of your choosing.

I learned a great lesson from Arleen Boyd (better known as “Aloha” Arleen) when I interviewed her for my new book,  Life on Your Terms.  She said: “Just because you’re an entrepreneur doesn’t mean you’re living life on your terms. Recognize your purpose, and stay vigilant on that path. What I’ve found is that you can have it all—you just can’t DO it all at the same time.”

This is sage advice from a woman who started her own telecommunications company in the early 1980s and enjoyed the cutthroat business world and her CEO status until she realized that she was not running her business: it was running her.  My recent conversations with powerful women like Arleen nudged me to share some supportive ideas about living in a world filled with desirable distractions.  I am happy to report that today, Arleen brings her expertise to companies in the area of social media, building her clients’ internet presence to lift awareness, build brands, generate income, and keep customers. She strongly believes in surrounding herself with a network of peers who are also in positions of leadership. This network has allowed her to reach out and collaborate, and to stay grounded.

Supportive tips to keep in mind when you are snagged by a provocative shiny lure:

Experience and dream about the potential of the interesting, inviting and sexy opportunity – Part of the joy of being an entrepreneur is following your passion and making your own decisions. Another part is allowing yourself to dream and explore enticing opportunities.  You don’t have to say YES to every exciting offer.  Remember that you have only so many units of you to share with the world.

Allow 24 -48 hours or more to make decision on your investment or involvement – Have you ever been fully drawn into something immediately, only to find that a couple days later the thrill is gone? When I am read to chomp on a shiny object, I allow myself to get fired up and then let the idea / opportunity simmer. Immediate deadlines be damned! Let the idea sit and then revisit your energy in a day or two.

Explore the potential outcome of letting the shiny object pass you by – What is the worst case scenario if you do not pounce on the object of your immediate affection? Can you live with this potential outcome? Is this an experience you can enjoy a year from now?

Is the fear of loss motivating you to take action? – Often we can get caught up in a brilliantly crafted offer and lose our sense of balance out of the fear of missing out on an opportunity.  Marketers know how to push our buttons.  You know the drill: Only 2 spots left for blah blah blah… Don’t miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity. RIGHT.  When an offer resonates with you and is in your best interest, things will naturally fall into place. Do all you can to blow off fear-based involvement in ANY activity.

Does this shiny opportunity fit in with your vision for your business and your life? – This question will help you make solid decisions. If  you don’t have a vision for your business, it is time to begin creating one.  I’ve found the people I work with who have a plan or dream have a much easier time discerning which lures to chase.

For those of you who have a voracious appetite for all things shiny and new,  I feel for you.  Remember that you can have it all–You just can’t fully enjoy and experience it all at the same time.

Hutchison’s Law: “Any occurrence requiring undivided attention will be accompanied by a compelling distraction.” – Robert Bloch