True Balance Life Coaching

Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away. -Barbara De Angelis

Autumn is my favorite time of year in northern Michigan. The air is cool and crisp. Lake Michigan’s black water along with the colorful forest canopy show sure signs of the seasonal shift. My T-shirts and shorts have been replaced with blue jeans and sweatshirts. My senses are filled with the rustic smell of campfires and the sweet crunchy goodness of Honeycrisp apples and warm banana bread.

Right now is the perfect moment to honor your inner cave woman. If you are a man I suspect you are well-versed in cave time. =) You owe it to yourself to sit with all you’ve accomplished personally, professionally and spiritually this year. Give yourself credit for where you are right now. In this moment. Breathe. Pause. Smile. Then you can get your affairs in order for the rest of the year.

The autumnal equinox brings climate change and significant energetic shifts in our routines. Many of us are  supporting our children while they transition back to early mornings, school days, homework and extra curricular activities. Business picks up this time of year and holiday preparations are just around the bend. All of this change can contribute to anxiety and stress.

Here are a few ideas to help you remain centered and peaceful.

Allow for Rich and Meaningful Alone Time

How much time do you allow for quiet contemplation? Reading? Perhaps soaking up the sweetness of an afternoon nap? As you move toward the winter months in the Midwest and Northeast, creating spaciousness in your calendar is a recipe for life-balance. If you are like me you will go stark raving mad without some cave-time to recharge and be still.

Change Things up in Your Environment

Is your environment a bit stale? Often the simple act of rearranging your office space or living space will give you an energetic pick-me-up. It’s fun to move pictures, furniture and prized possessions to new locations. Invigorate your senses with a new candle or incense. I love simmering mulling spices this time of year.

Declare How You Want the Rest of the Year to Unfold

With a little more than 3 months left in 2011, it’s time to contemplate how you’d like your life to unfold before the holidays.  Which projects, experiences, ideas will you explore? I recommend making time to write or key-in a declaration of sorts. How do you wish the rest of 2011 to play out? Dreaming and planning your road-map alleviates stress and 11th hour decision making.

Alone time, environmental shifts and directional declarations will support you during times of change. You deserve to carve out some time for yourself. No excuses. Honoring your inner cave woman begins now.

Solitude is the salt of personhood. It brings out the authentic flavor of every experience. -May Sarton

This summer has been extraordinary. One of the best I can recall. Most weekends have been devoted to beach-combing, floating and capturing images of Leelanau County AKA “The County”. My back yard is primarily made up of the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore,  just voted the most beautiful place in America by Good Morning America viewers. How cool is that?

Weekdays were devoted to coaching brilliant clients, finishing a new line of self-paced coaching workbooks and participating in the Inspired Living Telesummit along side a group of extraordinary and highly creative entrepreneurs.

I let go of one version of my young daughter as she skipped off to equestrian camp for two weeks and came home morphed into a new version of her extraordinary self.

I faced and began healing a new set of emotional wounds, found the courage to open my heart and visited with ghosts corporeal and noncorporeal from a childhood long past.

The lesson?  When you do the work and make time to soak up the sweetness of your life, the path of true balance feels clear and supportive. Always in motion. Always a loyal dance. Always a reminder of what we have to be grateful for.

Three Ways to soak up the last bits of Summer:

Highly recommended if you are ready to open your heart and allow for joyful creative expression.

• Visit with a childhood friend

I hadn’t been friends with Leslie Winzer since 7th grade. We were thick as thieves from 3rd-7th grade. Then we went in search of who we would become as teenagers without the safety of our long-term friendship.   Two weeks ago I received an email from Leslie inviting me to lunch, I was excited and a little freaked out. Did I really want to open a dialogue with a person I  had seen since childhood? I agreed to meet my old friend for lunch. When we did meet, there was so much energy surrounding us that we could barely manage to eat our lunch. We caught up on the ghosts of our childhoods. Discovered we’d shared some of the same kid fears and bullies. Neither of us could figure out when or why we stopped being friends. I am grateful to Leslie for taking a chance to suggest our reunion. I expect I will see her again the next times she rolls into the county for a holiday.  Is there a childhood friend you’s like to connect with? Go for it!

• Create time to walk in nature and capture images of the beauty surrounding you

You deserve to surround yourself with natural beauty. I choose to live on one of the most breathtaking places on earth. I find the natural beauty of my surroundings inspirational.  I wrote a great deal of Life on Your Terms while at the shores of Lake Michigan. Plus, there is something magical about the fours seasons of the north country. I am grateful to live in an area surrounded by lush forests, hundreds of lakes, and the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore. When will you make it a priority to take a walk on woodland path or enjoy an invigorating hike along the beach? Grab your camera and chase  a sunset!

• Allow a full day devoted to self-discovery

Self Discovery is not just for hippies and philosophers. Each of us owe it to ourselves to explore our full potential personally and professionally. Personal liberation is enjoyed by to those of us who have the courage to life the veil of the status-quo and stop bumping around in our day-today-ness.  What do you love? What inspires you? What kind of music, literature, and art do you most admire? It’s time to look at your strengths. Your interests. What makes you the miracle that you are. You deserve to develop a deeply satisfying relationship with yourself. Begin your self assessment today by journaling your answers or posting them here on the blog.

Big LOVE and blessings to you.

“True love doesn’t have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.”

On Letting Go …

Some of  my life experiences this year have been excellent teachings about the art of letting go. In the last 7 months I let go of one of my closest friends, said farewell to one of my biggest limiting beliefs, and said “a holding back the tears” goodbye to my young daughter as she skipped off for two weeks of equestrian camp and 14 nights away from home.

Letting go of the closest friendship outside of my marriage was a shock to my way of life. How could this be? I had so many unanswered questions. I was hurt. I was angry. I was in denial. Thanks to the advice of a good friend, I’ve learned to be with the range of emotions and have stopped trying to figure out why our friendship was kicked to the curb. I will always have fond memories. I now choose to move on without flogging myself over what may have happened. Even though the friendship dissolved, I love and accept myself completely.

Leaving behind limiting beliefs began by paying close attention to my language. I was letting myself off the hook on some big projects with potential for business growth.  I was making excuses. Often hearing myself complain: “I’ll never finish this project because I don’t have the support I need to get it done”. During a coaching session with my business strategist it dawned on me that I simply had to get clear about what I really needed help with. It was time for some divine intervention. Within a matter of days I’d finally found the support person I was looking for.

When my husband and I dropped off our daughter at summer camp for two weeks, I realized in the moment that it was the last time I would be in the presence of this incredible version of my little girl. I was thrilled about her coming adventure, but sad to know she would be coming home a different interpretation of her young self. I cried almost all the way back home. My hope is she will return safely with grand stories of her adventure and will have made some lasting friendships. As hard as it was to let go, I know this time away from Mom and Dad will be healthy for her.  I can now look forward to meeting my daughter all over again when she returns back home.

Each experience of letting go flooded me with a stunning range of emotions. Even when the moments sucked out loud, I sat with my emotions and eventually let the painful feelings slip away. It was time to let go of the tether and float back into the skies of my glorious, imperfect life.

Here are a few of the things I’ve learned about letting go that I hope you will find supportive:

• Allow yourself to feel what you feel without judgement.
• Write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal.
• Create some time to be alone and mourn your loss. No matter how great or small.
• Plan a private good bye party and wish what-once-was a fond farewell to make room for new beginnings.
• Talk to a trusted friend, coach or counselor.

“We need in love to practice only this: letting each other go. For holding on comes easily–we do not need to learn it.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

When you realize that letting go is a natural part of life, you can begin to eliminate long-term suffering. Allow yourself to feel the way you feel. Then, I invite you to move forward with grace. You really are stronger than you can imagine. You deserve to love and accept yourself completely.