True Balance Life Coaching

Self Sabotage

Why Partnering With A Life Coach is Powerful

by on Apr.06, 2011, under Life Coaching, Personal Development, Reinventing Yourself, Self Sabotage

“Action cures fear, inaction creates terror.” -Douglas Horton

I trust you will enjoy this article written by the brilliant Thomas Leonard, recognized by many as the father of life coaching.

Most of us realize that when it comes to achieving the results we seek in our lives, taking action is better than putting things off.  It only makes sense, yet we all struggle with some degree of procrastination at times.

A Professional Life Coach can help you see the insidious nature of procrastination and the enormous impact it has on your life. Furthermore, your coach can hold you accountable as you work to overcome this obstacle to action and future results. Your Life Coach will help you see the costs of procrastination allowing you to uncover and eliminate self-limiting behaviors.

What are the Costs of Procrastination?

  • Powerlessness and lack of inner strength
  • Poor self confidence and low self esteem
  • Guilt and worry
  • Undermined trust in yourself
  • People will tend not to rely on you or trust you
  • People won’t ask you to do great things because they don’t think you’re up to it (they usually can read this from your own unspoken self-image)
  • Limited ability to achieve results
  • Low self-respect and behaviors in your life that reflect that (e.g., won’t look after yourself as well, impacting health, grooming, continuing education, etc.)
  • Integrity in all areas of your life will be low
  • Your life will be nothing more than mediocre

What are some of the “Benefits” of this behavior?

  • You avoid taking risks
  • You have excuses for not achieving things
  • You remain in your “comfort zone”
  • You continue to have something to complain about

Can you end Procrastination?

Becoming aware of your situation and taking action is one of the essential behaviors of extraordinary people. Being “in action” enables you to be highly productive and effective and to inspire those around you.  It builds your self-esteem and you get to discover and overcome what you are afraid of because you’re confronting it all the time.  However, it does take courage, discipline and integrity. To be in action you need to be impeccable with your word. This means being honest with yourself, to always do what you say you’re going to do. Your Life Coach will support you with this. The path to action is to choose awareness in every moment of our lives.  When you ask yourself “will I or won’t I” the answer is always yes. Even if the question is “will I wait?” Choose consciously, choose powerfully and remember, action cures fear!

Coaching Contemplation:

How do you manage bouts with procrastination?

Do you have a success story about moving through your fear to take action?

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Clobbering Overwhelm

by on May.05, 2009, under Life Balance, Life Coaching, Self Sabotage

One of the definitions of overwhelm is to feel overpowered by your thoughts, emotions, or senses.

Feel familiar?

My particular brand of overwhelm is more like … suffocating skin crawling madness. I once was the mistress of overwhelm. The discomfort was intense and yet there was a rush involved with pulling off what felt impossible. It took years to get acquainted with the damage ripple caused by all of the needless stress.

The good news is you can learn to minimize this paralyzing feeling by facing what’s going on and taking action; like a gymnast on a balance beam, taking one step sure step after the other.

Sure steps with a Go … Be … Flow … attitude.

Most of the creative women and entrepreneurs I play with are passionate, talented and risk averse people who are really good at what I like to call, connecting the dots. Their ability to coordinate ideas, people, places, projects and synergistic energy is astounding. Their keen sense of knowing combined with pure unbridled feeling manifests great opportunities.

These fine characteristics and what seem like unlimited opportunities can be distracting.

Why?

Because people of this caliber can do ANYTHING.

Connecting the dots is a blessing if the entrepreneur is conscious enough to apply her connectivity talent to her own “in the weeds” life situation.

A HA!

Learning to go with the flow is a tremendous kick in the pants.

Practice moving through life with grace and clobber overwhelm by incorporating some these ideas:

Take deliberate action a by choosing and revisiting your priorities every week. A list of targeted activities will help you remain on your quest.

  • Carry out extreme self-care. This may mean taking time out to get a haircut, massage or a soak in the bath tub. Take some alone time to read a good book, take a walk and get out of your head.
  • Visualize your ideal accomplishment, and then make a list of tasks that can be addressed to bridge and traverse where you want to be in the natural flow of things.
  • Determine what projects you can delegate. Asking for help is freeing.
  • Eliminate any unnecessary tasks and activities. Do what you absolutely must, and junk what isn’t an absolute necessity.
  • Allow yourself to say NO.
  • Give yourself credit for all the things you DO complete.
  • Talk to a trusted friend, life coach or mentor. Get clarity by being with people who you admire, who are good at managing stress.

The next time you are feeling overcome with a sense of impending doom,
take a deep breath, gather your thoughts and let the clobbering begin.

Like this post?  Sign up for the True Balance Monthly newsletter and claim a copy of Clobbering Overwhelm – A special report.

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Ridding the Monsters -The Importance of Positive Self Talk

by on Feb.22, 2009, under Life Coaching, Self Sabotage

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When you wake up in the morning what is the first thought that pops in your head before your feet hit the floor?

Are you mindful of your first waking thought?

I suggest tuning into your self-talk right before you roll out of the wrapper each morning.

Do you wake up thinking “This is going to be a great day?”  or do you wake up wishing you could go back to sleep and escape from your life?

Are you loving and kind or hard on yourself?

Just begin to notice your voice, then notice each time you internally berate yourself.

As soon as comments like:

I am stupid. I am fat. I should have done better. I am no good. I can’t do it. I am a failure … pop into your consciousness,  it time to:

RETALIATE

At the very moment the  self defeating statement occurs, I dare you tangle with the monsters in your head.

It’s Easy.

Witness the behavior and say something along the lines of:  “Nice try.”  “Actually,  I am fine exactly as I am and worthy of self love and  loving kindness.”

I get that each person will find her personal mantra, but the point is …

The most important lesson is …

You don’t have to allow the monsters to run the show.

You get to slug the bully in the throat and never be screwed with again.

Nothing new here really.

Just a fresh thought from my perspective as I learn how to tame and get rid the monsters under the bed.

It occurs to me that some of the most brilliant, successful people I coach are the ones who admit they are aware of the importance of positive self talk.

When I was first introduced to Brian Tracy I was surprised and a little embarrassed by a part of his lesson plan that included repeating “I Like Myself, I Like Myself, I Like Myself” in front of a mirror or whilst driving down the road.  This exercise seemed incredibly silly to me.

BUT

The lesson, the mantra, ” I Like Myself”  was about creating a cycle of positive self talk and ridding the monsters.

Some days it’s as if I have a complete board of brain directors trying to call the shots  – The Cybil-like personalities in my head can be astounding.

What would happen if you dialed in to each of these nasty little buggers when they show up?

What if you could learn to take away their power?

With these questions in mind, I am learning to sit with the evil temptress, witness the stark raving lunatic, laugh at the controlling crazy woman and embrace the hopeless  little girl.

I suggest the care and feeding the parts of you that remind you that you are brilliant, beautiful and worthy of all of the love in the world.

Ridding the Monsters Begins by:

  • Listening to your Self-Talk
  • Identifying where the message originated (My 3rd grade teacher gets an award here )
  • Asking yourself if you really believe the message to be true
  • Bringing out the big guns by identifying each saboteur
  • Sticking up for yourself

You don’t have to believe, live with or accept any prior negative conditioning. It’s time to take back control of your thoughts by witnessing, addressing and altering your patterns of self talk.

You can do this.

“Thoughts become things … choose the good ones” – Mike Dooley

If you want to dig deeper into overcoming self sabotage, join me for an evening tele-conference on Tuesday, March 3rd at 8:00pm Eastern.

“Getting Rid of The Monsters Under The Bed”

Tuesday, March 3rd
8:30- 9:45 pm Eastern Time
$17.97

Eliminate the fear, trepidation, and tactics that enable self-sabotage. Learn to engage the world with greater success, joy, and self-growth.

You are invited to join certified professional coach and Best Selling Author, Shann Vander Leek for 75 minutes dedicated to Overcoming self-sabotage.

This group coaching teleseminar will inspire you to understand the triggers and patterns that underlie self-sabotage. We can begin to free ourselves and interact with ourselves and the world with greater joy and fulfillment. Begin getting rid of the monsters under the bed by reserving your space Today! The capacity for joy lies in the gift of consciousness. The reward for conscious living is awakening your personal power through extreme self care.

Sign up HERE

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