True Balance

“When you become truly selfish, you’ll have the extra reserves needed to really care about and be generous with others.” -Thomas Leonard

Click HERE to listen to a fun interview with me and Angie Jones the CEO (Chief Executive Officer) and CFO (Chief Fitness Officer) of FitBusinessWoman.com.

We discuss the importance of taking time for yourself along with some creative ways to become truly SELF-ISH.

You can also right click and choose “save target as” to save to your computer and listen to later.

One of the definitions of overwhelm is to feel overpowered by your thoughts, emotions, or senses.

Feel familiar?

My particular brand of overwhelm is more like … suffocating skin crawling madness. I once was the mistress of overwhelm. The discomfort was intense and yet there was a rush involved with pulling off what felt impossible. It took years to get acquainted with the damage ripple caused by all of the needless stress.

The good news is you can learn to minimize this paralyzing feeling by facing what’s going on and taking action; like a gymnast on a balance beam, taking one step sure step after the other.

Sure steps with a Go … Be … Flow … attitude.

Most of the creative women and entrepreneurs I play with are passionate, talented and risk averse people who are really good at what I like to call, connecting the dots. Their ability to coordinate ideas, people, places, projects and synergistic energy is astounding. Their keen sense of knowing combined with pure unbridled feeling manifests great opportunities.

These fine characteristics and what seem like unlimited opportunities can be distracting.

Why?

Because people of this caliber can do ANYTHING.

Connecting the dots is a blessing if the entrepreneur is conscious enough to apply her connectivity talent to her own “in the weeds” life situation.

A HA!

Learning to go with the flow is a tremendous kick in the pants.

Practice moving through life with grace and clobber overwhelm by incorporating some these ideas:

Take deliberate action a by choosing and revisiting your priorities every week. A list of targeted activities will help you remain on your quest.

• Carry out extreme self-care. This may mean taking time out to get a haircut, massage or a soak in the bath tub. Take some alone time to read a good book, take a walk and get out of your head.

• Visualize your ideal accomplishment, and then make a list of tasks that can be addressed to bridge and traverse where you want to be in the natural flow of things.

• Determine what projects you can delegate. Asking for help is freeing.

• Eliminate any unnecessary tasks and activities. Do what you absolutely must, and junk what isn’t an absolute necessity.

• Allow yourself to say NO.

• Give yourself credit for all the things you DO complete.

• Talk to a trusted friend, life coach or mentor. Get clarity by being with people who you admire, who are good at managing stress.

The next time you are feeling overcome with a sense of impending doom,
take a deep breath, gather your thoughts and let the clobbering begin.

Like this post?  Sign up for the True Balance Monthly newsletter and claim a copy of Clobbering Overwhelm - A special report.

My talented and brilliant mentor coach,  Deb Martin shared some valuable information with me awhile ago about the 4 stages of transition.  This material along with my personal story have become a big part of the focus of my life coaching business.

The purpose of sharing the 4 stages of transition with you and my life coaching clients is to shine a light on human behaviors and feelings through the natural cycles of change.

Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.  -Martha Beck

Not too long ago, I made one of the most important decisions in my life. The promise to leave corporate America and give my entrepreneurial calling a shot.   When the corporate culture  I was immersed in changed to a game of micro-management, I began to feel a slow and certain suffocation. It was time to leave the job that was killing my soul.

Today I understand that without the extreme discomfort, I may have never allowed myself to follow my dreams.

Stage 1 - Discomfort

A change is coming on. You can feel it. You can smell it. But you might not be sure what the change is or what to do about it. The more you fight it and try to get logical about this change, the longer you’ll stay in the discomfort stage.

You may feel:

• Reluctant, Fearful, in Grief, Angry, Confused,Uncertain, Negative, Defensive, Reactive and Trapped.

• You may Distrust your decisions and your intuition.

• You are likely to Worry more than usual.

Recommendations:

• Stay with your routines that you know Work for you.

• Don’t Over Commit to others at home or at work.

• Allow yourself to go Internal when you need to.

Create a 10 Luscious Daily Habits list and stick to it. Make these “habits” nurturing, easy and fun. Now is not the time to try to lose weight or start a new exercise routine. Create habits that nurture you without calling up your willpower.

Items on my Luscious List:

Meditation, yoga, bubble baths, reading, watching the sunset, fresh flowers,
listening to great music, playing with my daughter, drinking a cup of tea and writing.

As important as it is to nurture yourself through your pain and discomfort, going internal is key to healing and flowing into a graceful transition.

Stage 2 - Going Internal

You may start to protect yourself from the discomfort and go internal. You detach from your “old” self in order to allow for your new change or transition.

You may become:

• Contemplative, Seeking, Questioning, Protective, Spiritual and often Emotional.

• You are likely Quiet, Detached and Withdrawn.

Recommendations:

• Journaling is a great activity at this stage.

• Sometimes reading can be helpful.

• Get yourself into nature, preferably alone.

• Walks on the beach, an evening around a warming campfire, digging in the dirt, a hike along a woodland path, collect pine cones or stones - Anything to immerse yourself in the great outdoors.

When you begin to heal from the discomfort by nurturing your mind, body and soul its time for exploration.

Stage 3 - Exploration

In this stage, you are starting to feel like you have some direction. You have an inkling, about your upcoming transition and what it’s all about. You are ready to learn more and give birth to this new change.

You may feel like:

• You are experiencing new Energy and Security.

• You become Optimististic, Confident, Willing to Experiment with New Ideas, and Learning.

• You are Eager to Dream about new possibilities.

• You are looking for a new path and ready to commit to it.

• You’re discovering a vision.

Recommendations:

• Read about new things and continue to journal.

• Explore relationships and new connections.

• Learn more about what interests you.

• Take a class. Get some training.

• Do something creative.

• Allow yourself to experiment.

Now that we have navigated  through the initial discomfort of a transition, going internal to heal ourselves and rolling up our sleeves to explore new frontiers, we are ready to move into the Renaissance stage.

Stage 4 - Renaissance

Your vision is becoming clear and you’re ready to live your dream .

You will experience:

• You are highly committed, creative and optimistic.

• You are also determined to make changes and do so at a much faster pace.

• Things seem to flow for you.

• Mentally and physically, you’re at the Top of Your Game.

• Everything is Possible.

Recommendations:

• Allow yourself to flow, Allow things to happen.

• Be in love with your new Discoveries and your new Energy.

• Ride the wave.

• Rejoice in your new found freedom.

Each transitional stage can last from weeks to months. You’ll move more quickly through a difficult stage if you honor yourself . Renaissance, feels like it will last forever. It doesn’t.        Transitional stages are cyclical …

What stage are you experiencing right now?

How long have you been in this stage?

What have you learned you need to do right now for yourself and to honor the stage you are experiencing?

After navigating the 4 steps of transition I have successfully reinvented myself by living my dream and have become an Unconventional Bohemian Goddess. The natural cycle of  discomfort, internal time, exploration and renaissance, allowed me to become a best selling author, certified yoga instructor and professional coach with a thriving life coaching practice.

Discovering your groove and creating a luscious life is all aboutallowing for grace through the transition.