True Balance Life Coaching

My talented and brilliant mentor coach,  Deb Martin shared some valuable information with me awhile ago about the 4 stages of transition.  This material along with my personal story have become a big part of the focus of my life coaching business.

The purpose of sharing the 4 stages of transition with you and my life coaching clients is to shine a light on human behaviors and feelings through the natural cycles of change.

Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.  -Martha Beck

Not too long ago, I made one of the most important decisions in my life. The promise to leave corporate America and give my entrepreneurial calling a shot.   When the corporate culture  I was immersed in changed to a game of micro-management, I began to feel a slow and certain suffocation. It was time to leave the job that was killing my soul.

Today I understand that without the extreme discomfort, I may have never allowed myself to follow my dreams.

Stage 1 – Discomfort

A change is coming on. You can feel it. You can smell it. But you might not be sure what the change is or what to do about it. The more you fight it and try to get logical about this change, the longer you’ll stay in the discomfort stage.

You may feel:

• Reluctant, Fearful, in Grief, Angry, Confused,Uncertain, Negative, Defensive, Reactive and Trapped.

• You may Distrust your decisions and your intuition.

• You are likely to Worry more than usual.

Recommendations:

• Stay with your routines that you know Work for you.

• Don’t Over Commit to others at home or at work.

• Allow yourself to go Internal when you need to.

Create a 10 Luscious Daily Habits list and stick to it. Make these “habits” nurturing, easy and fun. Now is not the time to try to lose weight or start a new exercise routine. Create habits that nurture you without calling up your willpower.

Items on my Luscious List:

Meditation, yoga, bubble baths, reading, watching the sunset, fresh flowers,
listening to great music, playing with my daughter, drinking a cup of tea and writing.

As important as it is to nurture yourself through your pain and discomfort, going internal is key to healing and flowing into a graceful transition.

Stage 2 – Going Internal

You may start to protect yourself from the discomfort and go internal. You detach from your “old” self in order to allow for your new change or transition.

You may become:

• Contemplative, Seeking, Questioning, Protective, Spiritual and often Emotional.

• You are likely Quiet, Detached and Withdrawn.

Recommendations:

• Journaling is a great activity at this stage.

• Sometimes reading can be helpful.

• Get yourself into nature, preferably alone.

• Walks on the beach, an evening around a warming campfire, digging in the dirt, a hike along a woodland path, collect pine cones or stones – Anything to immerse yourself in the great outdoors.

When you begin to heal from the discomfort by nurturing your mind, body and soul its time for exploration.

Stage 3 – Exploration

In this stage, you are starting to feel like you have some direction. You have an inkling, about your upcoming transition and what it’s all about. You are ready to learn more and give birth to this new change.

You may feel like:

• You are experiencing new Energy and Security.

• You become Optimististic, Confident, Willing to Experiment with New Ideas, and Learning.

• You are Eager to Dream about new possibilities.

• You are looking for a new path and ready to commit to it.

• You’re discovering a vision.

Recommendations:

• Read about new things and continue to journal.

• Explore relationships and new connections.

• Learn more about what interests you.

• Take a class. Get some training.

• Do something creative.

• Allow yourself to experiment.

Now that we have navigated  through the initial discomfort of a transition, going internal to heal ourselves and rolling up our sleeves to explore new frontiers, we are ready to move into the Renaissance stage.

Stage 4 – Renaissance

Your vision is becoming clear and you’re ready to live your dream .

You will experience:

• You are highly committed, creative and optimistic.

• You are also determined to make changes and do so at a much faster pace.

• Things seem to flow for you.

• Mentally and physically, you’re at the Top of Your Game.

• Everything is Possible.

Recommendations:

• Allow yourself to flow, Allow things to happen.

• Be in love with your new Discoveries and your new Energy.

• Ride the wave.

• Rejoice in your new found freedom.

Each transitional stage can last from weeks to months. You’ll move more quickly through a difficult stage if you honor yourself . Renaissance, feels like it will last forever. It doesn’t.        Transitional stages are cyclical …

What stage are you experiencing right now?

How long have you been in this stage?

What have you learned you need to do right now for yourself and to honor the stage you are experiencing?

After navigating the 4 steps of transition I have successfully reinvented myself by living my dream and have become an Unconventional Bohemian Goddess. The natural cycle of  discomfort, internal time, exploration and renaissance, allowed me to become a best selling author, certified yoga instructor and professional coach with a thriving life coaching practice.

Discovering your groove and creating a luscious life is all aboutallowing for grace through the transition.

A random bizarro-world event I just had to write about …

Today I received a phone call from an area code that seemed familiar but the caller did not leave a message.  I decided to call the number back and find out if I knew the person on the other end.

A women answered the phone and told me she hadn’t left a message because people normally do not call her back. She was a healer and was reaching out to people in the coaching profession to offer free healing sessions in return for referrals.

Somewhat interested and a little skeptical,  I shared that I already partner with a healer and wondered if she could share her website or blog with me. This way I could learn more about her credentials and share her site with people who may be in need of her services.

This is where things started to get strange. The “healer” (now in quotations marks because I’m thinking  – not so much) began to tell me that most people who have websites and blogs are phonies with misleading information on their websites.  She had been in business 10 years and has never needed a website. I agreed that word of mouth is great but argued a lot of honest people have reputable sites that serve as a menu of services containing valuable information.  …  Insert Theme from JAWS sound effect … Our egos had become involved in the conversation.

and then … As if the silly disagreement about the value of the internet was not enough.

I made the mistake of telling her that I too fancied myself a healer.  I made the statement as a connection bridge after the failed internet tete a’ tete.

BAD IDEA

This statement pushed her over the edge to straight crazy!

Had she let me finish,  I would have shared my personal healing experiences with yoga, teaching yoga, and coaching people through low self esteem and self sabotage helping them become whole and healthy again.

She would have none of it.

She said  “You might be psychic and intuitive but you are not a healer.” This was followed by her telling me that  I was arrogant, out of balance and in need of significant healing – followed by the powerful grand finale of hanging up the phone.

Conversation over.

WTF?

I tried to call back to straighten things out and make a peace offering.  When I finally got through to her, she hung up on me again.

The person on the other end of the line was a “healer”  … and I’m an arrogant phony in need of healing?

Seems like I would be a good prospect for her.

Hmmm

What do you think the lesson is here?

Have you ever triggered somebody in this way?

How did you handle the outcome?

This was a no win phone call.  The “Healer” was insecure and triggered before our conversation could get off the ground.

Next time … I will not return any random phone calls nor will I feel responsible for making peace with a angry suitcase carrying “healer.”

I will send out good intentions and let it go.

A great article written by a lovely woman …  Enjoy!

Being while Doing

Sometimes you may feel like you’re a human doing rather than a human being. It is so easy to get caught up in the “to do” list and the “should do” list. The endless list of tasks can leave us feeling depleted, unfulfilled and stuck; we go through our days distracted and dissatisfied.

By nature we are doers. We are designed to have goals, dreams and aspirations. And these require action – some doing. Doing is not the opposite of being; you are a human being who does things. An essential question is:

Who am I BEING while I am doing?

It speaks to who you are being on the journey of life. Are you being kind and considerate to others while you accomplish your tasks? Are you being mindful of the impact your behavior has on others? Do you take the time to feel the enjoyment and pleasure of what you are creating?

Simply BEING who you are is one of the greatest assets that you bring to your relationships. As you embody your authentic human ‘beingness’ through self discovery and your acceptance of self, you can fully be of service. As you connect with your inner resources, strengths, values and wholeness, you become more congruent, supportive and powerfully creative.

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Marlena Field, PCC, CPCC, founder and author of Body-Centered Coaching, offers a free e-newsletter titled BodyMind Wisdom: listen to your body, connect with your spirit. When you subscribe, you will receive her free audio titled “Conscious Choices for Change” www.BodyMindSpiritCoaching.com