True Balance

It is with great pleasure that I share the following poem written by the lovely and talented Johanna Courtleigh.  Johanna wrote this prose as a tribute to our beautiful sea and its current suffering.

I must have been a mermaid once

I must have been the ocean’s mistress

I must have been Neptune’s daughter, surely,

Or perhaps I was a salmon, all rainbowed and wild-eyed

Now I step forward to be her queen,

Singing my name

Oh my!

This month, each of my brilliant clients is feeling overwhelmed by the abundant distractions that keep showing up in their lives,  and the limited amount of time available to participate in each experience.  Too many choices and “Shiny Lures” of distraction seem to be everywhere causing acute experiences of pleasure and pain.   These powerful women want to have it all,  but occasionally get lost in the land of potent distraction.  Here are some ways you can address the anxiety surrounding an attractive diversion, get clear about your choices, and move forward on the path of your choosing.

I learned a great lesson from Arleen Boyd (better known as “Aloha” Arleen) when I interviewed her for my new book,  Life on Your Terms.  She said: “Just because you’re an entrepreneur doesn’t mean you’re living life on your terms. Recognize your purpose, and stay vigilant on that path. What I’ve found is that you can have it all—you just can’t DO it all at the same time.”

This is sage advice from a woman who started her own telecommunications company in the early 1980s and enjoyed the cutthroat business world and her CEO status until she realized that she was not running her business: it was running her.  My recent conversations with powerful women like Arleen nudged me to share some supportive ideas about living in a world filled with desirable distractions.  I am happy to report that today, Arleen brings her expertise to companies in the area of social media, building her clients’ internet presence to lift awareness, build brands, generate income, and keep customers. She strongly believes in surrounding herself with a network of peers who are also in positions of leadership. This network has allowed her to reach out and collaborate, and to stay grounded.

Supportive tips to keep in mind when you are snagged by a provocative shiny lure:

Experience and dream about the potential of the interesting, inviting and sexy opportunity - Part of the joy of being an entrepreneur is following your passion and making your own decisions. Another part is allowing yourself to dream and explore enticing opportunities.  You don’t have to say YES to every exciting offer.  Remember that you have only so many units of you to share with the world.

Allow 24 -48 hours or more to make decision on your investment or involvement - Have you ever been fully drawn into something immediately, only to find that a couple days later the thrill is gone? When I am read to chomp on a shiny object, I allow myself to get fired up and then let the idea / opportunity simmer. Immediate deadlines be damned! Let the idea sit and then revisit your energy in a day or two.

Explore the potential outcome of letting the shiny object pass you by - What is the worst case scenario if you do not pounce on the object of your immediate affection? Can you live with this potential outcome? Is this an experience you can enjoy a year from now?

Is the fear of loss motivating you to take action? - Often we can get caught up in a brilliantly crafted offer and lose our sense of balance out of the fear of missing out on an opportunity.  Marketers know how to push our buttons.  You know the drill: Only 2 spots left for blah blah blah… Don’t miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity. RIGHT.  When an offer resonates with you and is in your best interest, things will naturally fall into place. Do all you can to blow off fear-based involvement in ANY activity.

Does this shiny opportunity fit in with your vision for your business and your life? - This question will help you make solid decisions. If  you don’t have a vision for your business, it is time to begin creating one.  I’ve found the people I work with who have a plan or dream have a much easier time discerning which lures to chase.

For those of you who have a voracious appetite for all things shiny and new,  I feel for you.  Remember that you can have it all–You just can’t fully enjoy and experience it all at the same time.

Hutchison’s Law: “Any occurrence requiring undivided attention will be accompanied by a compelling distraction.” - Robert Bloch

Lisa, a VA with three years in the business and a team of two, was stuck.   When she left her corporate management job to work from home, she was excited and energized by the prospect of creating her own business, lifestyle, and an income substantial enough to enjoy some financial freedom.

Now, a few years in, the momentum that gave her a great start, has waned.  Lisa, a bit of a micro-manager, finds herself too busy overseeing her team and handling the day-to-day running of the business to find the time she needs to effectively market and grow her business.  She is also feeling the isolation that often sets in after going solo, and misses having colleagues with whom she could brainstorm and receive feedback.  Unable to move forward alone, Lisa – like many thousands of other entrepreneurs, decided to seek help from a coach.

Does this sound like you?   Most of us, at some turning point in our business, will seek guidance from a professional to give us the boost, and the tools we need to reach or exceed our goals.   A coach will:

Identify goals and help you create a plan to get there. When you first started your business, you had goals, and a business plan.   Somewhere along the way, you may have veered off the path.  A coach will help you regroup, revise your goals and/or create new ones, and create a step-by-step plan to get you there.

Hold you accountable. Are you going to follow through with those steps?  Many people can get through the planning steps effectively, but drop the ball when it’s time to execute, or do not execute effectively.  Having a coach ensures that you have somebody else to report to on a regular basis — somebody who will push you so you are less inclined to procrastinate or let things go, and hold yourself to a higher standard.

Help remove roadblocks, so you can get out of your own way. The real reason we drop the ball or do not follow through effectively is because of fear – primarily fear of the unknown, which leads to doubt. This inner resistance to your positive momentum– the “what ifs” – can kill your dream instantly if not held in check.  A coach will help you work through the “what ifs,” by removing some of the unknown – again through detailed planning, visualization and interactive exercises to prepare you for that sales pitch, speech, teleconference, interview, or product launch.

Provide honest feedback. As a solo-preneur, how do you know if you are hitting the mark?  You may receive compliments or criticism from clients, but what about feedback from your team?  Do they feel comfortable or secure enough to speak up about something that doesn’t seem to be working?  A coach will give you an honest, productive opinion and suggestions for improvement in areas where you may never have thought you needed it.

Improve performance as a leader. Just because you own and run a business doesn’t mean you are born to lead.  Many entrepreneurs excel at their craft, but fall short when it comes time to make the “grown up decisions,” or manage a team.  A coach can help you step into the role of CEO, defeat the limiting beliefs and practices that have kept you on the front lines, and learn to delegate and give authority to those under you so you, and your team, can grow.

Defeat isolation. Although “going it alone” was an exhilarating and exciting prospect when you started out, you now realize that there are times when you miss having colleagues (or even that one great boss!) around to help you develop ideas, solve problems, offer a shoulder, or celebrate your successes with you.  Even though you might have a team in place, a solo-preneur working virtually, from home, needs to know there is someone who has “been there,” and fully understands the many challenges of being your own boss, standing in her corner.

If you are stuck, consider a coach.  It is an investment in yourself, and in your business, that will boost your confidence, efficacy, organization and creativity so you and your company can reach, and in many cases, exceed, your goals.

Donna Toothaker is CEO, founder and coach of Step It Up VA Coaching. These highly sought-after VA coaching programs have been created for established, successful VAs who wish to create the 6-figure business of their dreams. Visit http://www.stepitupva.com to receive the free report, Top 3 Mistakes to Avoid in Creating a 6-Figure VA Business.