True Balance Life Coaching

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In Balance -Shann

Recently I have been thinking a lot about the difference between high expectations and open invitations.

The definition of an Expectation is:

“A strong belief that something will happen in the future.”

The definition of an Invitation is:

“The action of inviting someone to go somewhere or do something.” This someone can be yourself.

When you combine the two you can see that you now have “The action of inviting someone to go somewhere or do something that will happen in the future.”  You are now inviting someone to support you in the pursuit of your current project, with the complete understanding that  an honorable agreement translates to showing up to the best of their (your) ability.

Many of the powerful executive women drawn to my life coaching business have uber high expectations of themselves and others. Toss is a heaping cup of impatience and a dollop of determination, they often find themselves creating a recipe for disaster. Often disappointed in themselves and others for the lack of a perfect outcome the recipe ends up in the rubbish.

I get it. Requiring people and things to bend to my will is something I can relate to.

When you set the bar of your expectations as high as the heavens , your ego can eliminate those who are not worthy. This becomes an interesting way to get lost in an abyss of discomfort and disappointment. Expectations of perfection breeds insecurity in ourselves and can lead to blaming others for not stepping up to the mark.

Over achievers often find themselves in this quandary. Can you relate?

When you replace your expectations with invitations , you can support yourself and your circle of influence to show up in the best light.

Think about how you might change your language to be supportive and encouraging.

To Your Friends

I invite you to be mindful, honest and reciprocate loving kindness.

To Your Employees

I invite you to be present, focused and get the job done to the best of your ability.

To Your Clients

I invite you to show up and communicate clearly that which you wish to discover.

To Yourself

I invite my self to be patient whilst I make incremental improvements in my relationship with myself and others.

Snapping your fingers and expecting your every wish come true is ridiculous. Even Veruca Salt’s character in Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory eventually got her due when she was measured a bad egg after years of demanding that she get every thing she wanted. I can here Veruca saying “Daddy, if I don’t get what I want, I will make your life a living hell. How dare you ignore my expectations of you!” Spoiled Rotten Behavior.

Offering open invitations instead of demanding unrealistic expectations may be a healthier place to operate from.

Admittedly, I love getting my way. I love winning. I love to be loved. I love to be in concert with brilliant people. Who doesn’t?

The difference for me now is that I choose to show up with an offering and can live with being denied. After all, it’s not ALL about me. It is about knowing what I wish to create and inviting my peers and my big S self to show up.

• What would happen if you replaced your expectations with invitations?

• How have you been burned by expecting yourself to be perfect?

• How does being extremely hard on yourself play out for you?

• Have you ever expected too much of your loved ones, employees or co-workers? How did that work out for you?