True Balance Life Coaching

Recently I have been thinking a lot about the difference between high expectations and open invitations.

The definition of an Expectation is:

“A strong belief that something will happen in the future.”

The definition of an Invitation is:

“The action of inviting someone to go somewhere or do something.” This someone can be yourself.

When you combine the two you can see that you now have “The action of inviting someone to go somewhere or do something that will happen in the future.”  You are now inviting someone to support you in the pursuit of your current project, with the complete understanding that  an honorable agreement translates to showing up to the best of their (your) ability.

Many of the powerful executive women drawn to my life coaching business have uber high expectations of themselves and others. Toss is a heaping cup of impatience and a dollop of determination, they often find themselves creating a recipe for disaster. Often disappointed in themselves and others for the lack of a perfect outcome the recipe ends up in the rubbish.

I get it. Requiring people and things to bend to my will is something I can relate to.

When you set the bar of your expectations as high as the heavens , your ego can eliminate those who are not worthy. This becomes an interesting way to get lost in an abyss of discomfort and disappointment. Expectations of perfection breeds insecurity in ourselves and can lead to blaming others for not stepping up to the mark.

Over achievers often find themselves in this quandary. Can you relate?

When you replace your expectations with invitations , you can support yourself and your circle of influence to show up in the best light.

Think about how you might change your language to be supportive and encouraging.

To Your Friends

I invite you to be mindful, honest and reciprocate loving kindness.

To Your Employees

I invite you to be present, focused and get the job done to the best of your ability.

To Your Clients

I invite you to show up and communicate clearly that which you wish to discover.

To Yourself

I invite my self to be patient whilst I make incremental improvements in my relationship with myself and others.

Snapping your fingers and expecting your every wish come true is ridiculous. Even Veruca Salt’s character in Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory eventually got her due when she was measured a bad egg after years of demanding that she get every thing she wanted. I can here Veruca saying “Daddy, if I don’t get what I want, I will make your life a living hell. How dare you ignore my expectations of you!” Spoiled Rotten Behavior.

Offering open invitations instead of demanding unrealistic expectations may be a healthier place to operate from.

Admittedly, I love getting my way. I love winning. I love to be loved. I love to be in concert with brilliant people. Who doesn’t?

The difference for me now is that I choose to show up with an offering and can live with being denied. After all, it’s not ALL about me. It is about knowing what I wish to create and inviting my peers and my big S self to show up.

• What would happen if you replaced your expectations with invitations?

• How have you been burned by expecting yourself to be perfect?

• How does being extremely hard on yourself play out for you?

• Have you ever expected too much of your loved ones, employees or co-workers? How did that work out for you?

True Balance Life Coaching was born out of the need to teach that which I most needed to learn. As a former television broadcast maven, I had very little balance in my life. I was a workaholic for many years and allowed myself to easily become attached to the people and projects where I was employed. I was lost down the corporate rabbit hole without a clue!

For a long time it was as if I was living, eating and breathing my work. The conversations at home revolved around work. My closest friends were also working in the same environment. I simply could not get away from the culture with exception of a few weeks each year for a holiday. And even then,  I was convinced that all hell would break loose because was away ( hello ego). I covered my ass to the nth degree before leaving on vacation and jumped back in with vigor upon my return – only to be highly stressed and ready for more R&R within a month or two.  At the time, this sort of behavior was “normal” for me.

About 12 years into my career, my beautiful daughter was born. With the miracle of childbirth began my questioning of EVERYTHING. Children have a way for smacking you upside the head with a dose of what is truly important. I finally understood that I was alive to enjoy so much more than the corporate role I was playing at that time. Upon further inspection, I became super conscious of the nefarious activities going on around me.   Office politics was never my strong suit. Understanding the games being played was probably the reason I survived in an unhealthy environment for as long as I did. Suddenly, situations which hadn’t phased me in the past were driving me stark raving mad! I simply had to explore my options outside of leadership in the realm of TV advertising.

Thankfully, I discovered  professional Life Coaching and knew I’d  found the right fit. I was qualified to be a coach even before earning my life coaching certification. I had a wealth of experience as a leader. I loved supporting people to reach their goals and dreams. I had a ton of sales and marketing experience.  I was ready to be free. Ready to make a difference.

From the moment of my skin crawling epiphany, it took me a little under 3 years to leave the only career I’d ever known along with the fat paycheck and perks.

The process of carving out my life on my terms is incredibly rewarding. I am stoked  that  I made the choice to move on from the crazy and be present and available for my daughter. I have never looked back.

Are you contemplating a significant career transition?  Telltale signs you may be ready to jump ship include:

• Noticing that there is more to life than being a slave to the rhythm
• Not wanting to get out of bed in the morning
• Realizing you have no respect for the leadership of your organization
• Using up your sick time and personal time to avoid going into the office
• Coming home feeling drained and unfulfilled.
• Spending a great deal of your time trapped by or wrapped up in corporate politics

If any of these examples resonate with you, it may be time to move on. If you want to explore this further, you are welcome to visit my personal scheduler and set up a coaching call. Simply click on the Get Focused Now Button and you will be transported to Time Trade to schedule a session. It’s easy!

 

“Action cures fear, inaction creates terror.” -Douglas Horton

I trust you will enjoy this article written by the brilliant Thomas Leonard, recognized by many as the father of life coaching.

Most of us realize that when it comes to achieving the results we seek in our lives, taking action is better than putting things off.  It only makes sense, yet we all struggle with some degree of procrastination at times.

A Professional Life Coach can help you see the insidious nature of procrastination and the enormous impact it has on your life. Furthermore, your coach can hold you accountable as you work to overcome this obstacle to action and future results. Your Life Coach will help you see the costs of procrastination allowing you to uncover and eliminate self-limiting behaviors.

What are the Costs of Procrastination?

• Powerlessness and lack of inner strength
• Poor self confidence and low self esteem
• Guilt and worry
• Undermined trust in yourself
• People will tend not to rely on you or trust you
• People won’t ask you to do great things because they don’t think you’re up to it (they usually can read this from your own unspoken self-image)
• Limited ability to achieve results
• Low self-respect and behaviors in your life that reflect that (e.g., won’t look after yourself as well, impacting health, grooming, continuing education, etc.)
• Integrity in all areas of your life will be low
• Your life will be nothing more than mediocre

What are some of the “Benefits” of this behavior?

• You avoid taking risks
• You have excuses for not achieving things
• You remain in your “comfort zone”
• You continue to have something to complain about

Can you end Procrastination?

Becoming aware of your situation and taking action is one of the essential behaviors of extraordinary people. Being “in action” enables you to be highly productive and effective and to inspire those around you.  It builds your self-esteem and you get to discover and overcome what you are afraid of because you’re confronting it all the time.  However, it does take courage, discipline and integrity. To be in action you need to be impeccable with your word. This means being honest with yourself, to always do what you say you’re going to do. Your Life Coach will support you with this. The path to action is to choose awareness in every moment of our lives.  When you ask yourself “will I or won’t I” the answer is always yes. Even if the question is “will I wait?” Choose consciously, choose powerfully and remember, action cures fear!

Coaching Contemplation:

How do you manage bouts with procrastination?

Do you have a success story about moving through your fear to take action?