True Balance Life Coaching

A great work-life-balance message from Nigel Marsh.

You simply must create you own destiny or someone else will!

Get real and make incremental steps in the direction of your dreams.

“You work in a job you hate, to buy stuff that you don’t need, to impress people that you don’t like.” – Fight Club

“Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible / it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.” – Barbara De Angelis

Opening your heart to true love can be tricky if you don’t know how to love yourself. If you have harmful out-dated programming running though your head, you may have tricked yourself into believing you are not worthy of love. This is not true. No matter what may have transpired before this moment, no matter how much time you have spent dwelling in your disasters, you are beloved. You come from great love. So how is it possible that you could you not be the embodiment of great love? Learning to love yourself is an exhilarating, liberating experience. Self-love begins by summing up the courage to face the monsters under the bed, and learning how to savor the sweetness in your life anyway.

• What does unconditional love look like for you?

• What would it feel like to open your heart and trust your instincts.

• What might it be like to let go of the notion that you are not worthy of love.

• What does it mean to learn to love without an attachment to the outcome?

All of these questions lead back to you. You simply must give yourself permission to explore what each curiosity looks like for you. Take your time and answer each question from your heart.

Are you ready to enjoy a deeply satisfying love affair with yourself? Here are some fun and supportive suggestions to begin your loving journey.

Love Letters

Write a sweet love letter to yourself from your higher self. Find some beautiful stationery or a greeting card that suits you and go for it! Here is an example of how your letter may begin:

Dear Lover,

I think you are an extraordinary woman. Your kindness, generosity and beauty are beyond measure…

I often wonder if you can fathom how much I care for you…

Let the rest of the letter flow through until the letter is complete. Drop the letter in the mail and receive it a day or two later with a knowing smile. Your ability to accept and share healthy love begins with learning how to love yourself.

Attraction Inventory

What are you wildly attracted to? Make a list!

Here is a tally of things that light me up! The scent of Shoyeido Haku-un incense, the elegant shape of orchids, the way light dances through the trees, the music of Peter Gabriel, the poetry of Tagore and Rumi, capturing images of the sun setting on Lake Michigan, the canals of Bruges and China Town in San Francisco, the way my husband says “Hello Beautiful”, the Dalai Lama’s smile, and loads of unabashed laughter.

How about you?

To begin, key in on color, fragrance, texture and then move to music, literature, environments, and so on…

What can you learn about yourself through this sort of introspection?

What is it about your desires that relate to the qualities of the unique lover you are.

Did you know there is not another divine being alive who is just like you. You are special. You matter. You are worth every ounce of gentleness, love, comfort and self-care you can muster up.

Learning to love who you are is your choice. You decide you are lovable. You decide to be in love with being alive. It’s all about YOU.

How do I love thee? Please begin counting the ways…

Ask Yourself this: What I Love about ME?

Stop reading this column right now. Grab a pen and paper and write three or more things you love most about being who you are.

Now that you have made your list, think about the kinds of activities you can embrace to invite more love into your life. Here is an example of the things I do to foster my love affair with ME.

Loving ME means:

• Making time each day to schedule some time just for me. Whether writing in my journal, enjoying a cup of herbal tea, listening to uplifting music or reading an uplifting book or favorite blog. I honor myself by making my interests a priority.

• I will surrender when I’m overwhelmed or stressed out. I will ask for help and excuse myself form non-essential activities.

• I will get some fresh air and move my body every day in some way – even to walk a few blocks to the village post office for our mail. The benefits of breathing in fresh clean air and moving my body equal more energy, better sleep and remaining strong and flexible.

• I no longer allow people to suck the life out of me with complaints and negative energy. If a relationship becomes one-side or overly frantic, it’s time to gently remove myself from the scene.

• I easily take responsibility for poor choices and say I’m sorry. I know how to forgive myself and move on instead of waging a full-on war with myself. As a woman who puts her foot in her mouth a lot, I am learning to stop wallowing in guilt or shame for sharing my truth.

• I laugh at myself a lot!

Are you taking yourself too seriously these days? When was the last you laughed your ass off? The health benefits of laughter are far-ranging. Studies have shown that laughter can help relieve pain, bring greater happiness, and even increase immunity. Laughter provides a physical and emotional release. Want a good laugh? Check out this recording I made for a friend who was missing the sound of my big hearty laugh. Shann’s Laugh.

I coach several extraordinary women who are learning at the ages of 30, 40, 45 , 50+ how to love, accept and laugh at themselves – just as they are; powerful women who have been taught to put family, friends and work ahead of their own health, happiness and peacefulness.

Witnessing and supporting them with their self-loving transformation is an extraordinary blessing.

You deserve to enjoy a lifelong love affair with the person you share most of your time with while you are here. Who is that person you ask? Why silly, it’s YOU!

You have a magical new year before you; a clean slate to discover how you want to live, love and laugh – from this moment forward. Cheers to a fresh opportunity to open your heart and allow for more LOVE.