Archive for September, 2010
Fear is Universal
by Shann on Sep.20, 2010, under Personal Development, Reinventing Yourself

Ishita Gupta – fear.less
Every person’s fear is valid and every person’s fear is their own concoction of their experiences, their sensitivities, their environment. And each one is just as important as the other. – Ishita Gupta
I had the pleasure of catching up with Ishita Gupta, Founder & Editor of Fear.less magazine, a free online magazine that empowers people through unique stories of overcoming fear.
Shann: Thank you for sharing some time with me today. I am enjoying fear.less and deeply resonate with your mission. Tell me more about the statement, “Fear doesn’t have a demographic.”
Ishita: The reason why fear resonates with me so much, is that I really see it as universal. From the smallest of the small — as babies, adolescents and especially as adults — it’s a concept that permeates humanity. I don’t see fear as localized – it’s not an American thing or an Indian thing, or related only to people who have lost their jobs or people who are grieving. I think it’s one of those emotions that’s truly universal and we all experience it at different levels; at different intensities.
There’s a woman who was incredibly courageous and had experienced living through the Rwandan genocide and her entire family was basically massacred. To go from that and go talk to an entrepreneur and their personal fears is a tough switch, but at the same time it is very relative. Every person’s fear is valid and every person’s fear is their own concoction of their experiences, their sensitivities, their environment. And each one is just as important as the other.
I’ve found from talking to 80-plus people, that fear is universal and it isn’t just one localization, whether it’s geographic or economic status or age or industry you’re in or life experiences. We get letters from students and actors and administrators and creatives and writers. It is very, very clear that there is not just one person that feels fear. It is an emotion that most everyone has felt. I don’t think there’s anybody out there that hasn’t felt some type of fear in their life, including myself, and that’s why fear.less is growing and people seem to embrace the concept.
Despite the intensity and despite the circumstance, everyone has been there and we can all relate to that. To be open about FEAR is different than what we’re used to. To be able to say, “yes I’ve had a fearful experience” and then to share it – I don’t think our society encourages that. It’s like “suck it up, or deal with it yourself,” there’s so much guilt, shame, and anger living with the emotion of fear that we are afraid of admitting it or sharing it with others, and thus we tend to isolate ourselves.
What I’ve found is that the fear (and alleviating fear) lends itself to sharing and communicating, to knowing that other people have felt the same way you are, and that’s what I take refuge in. People really take solace in the stories and I’ve gone back to them several times in my own life and have taken great comfort in them.
Shann: Take me back to that place where you knew this was it, that you had a passion and you were going to co-create this project…
Ishita: The seed had been planted in my mind for a few years. I’m a big storyteller and when I studied photography, I was telling stories through photos and film, I was also telling stories. Whatever form it’s taken, whether it’s digital media like the magazine or media like photography or even oral storytelling I really, really believe in the power of stories and that’s how I learn in my own life.
For the last few years I knew that I wanted to create a leader’s lessons book. people that I admire and that I’m inspired by, and whom I could learn from. I think we overlook on a day-to-day basis the ability to learn from people around us. Especially, I think, in the states, there is this attitude of “go it alone and do it yourself”. We have this culture that socializes us to want to make the best of ourselves and not look for help in doing so. I’m not that type of person at all, I seek help, I look for others around me to teach me and that was the genesis of this idea. It was simmering and simmering and I had the infrastructure and resources to make it happen when i started a 6 month MBA. I started a program in which I took a risk, branched out, and had an amazing experience with other creative people that taught me how to think like an entrepreneur. It gave me business experience since I didn’t come from that background. It really allowed me to give fear.less a shape and structure.
I had a business partner that was wonderful and helped me create this. I didn’t think, “Oh my god, I want to change the world,” I mean, I did – I wanted it to have that much impact, but I wanted to put something out there that was meaningful to me and that I feel like I could share with others, and I wanted to do it by being really honest with people and talking to then about their experiences.
At that moment in time, if I’m totally honest with myself, I was at a pretty big moment of fear too. There was a lot of uncertainty about what I wanted to do and what I wanted to put out there. For me, talking to other people about their experiences and how they overcome fear, was actually quite therapeutic. for the first year, all I did was interview; I was really focused on creating good content. I knew I didn’t want to put anything out there that was questionable…it had to be something I was proud of. I focused solely on interviewing people, on editing, on narration, on creating great, great quality. Then, we pulled it together in terms of design and social media.
One thing I didn’t want to compromise on at all was design. I feel like there’s a lot of poorly designed things out there, which may have great content, but I would never want to look at. So we really focused on design as a key element for the magazine. We wanted to retain the quality of a print magazine – that experience – and translate that over to the web. That doesn’t just mean incorporating the page-turning of a magazine, that means really creating a visual experience for people. This relates back to the photos, that relates back to the design and creativity and the element of beauty that we wanted to keep in the magazine.
Shann: Are the conventional advertising decision makers supporting digital magazines yet? Are they open to conversation with you? Is that a direction you’re moving in?
Ishita: We’re definitely moving into the ad sales process now. It’s a really tricky dance because while people are open to having the conversation to monetizing content, to actually commit to digital media is scary for a lot of publishers and advertisers in general. We see it in the publishing industry that embracing digital can be hard for an industry that’s been based on experiences, meetings, an actual print product or book. I think the advertisers feel the same way. Advertising in a magazine like Vanity Fair for the last 50 years is what advertisers have been doing. You see popular magazines that have folded and it’s because of advertising and I wonder what are those ad buyers doing now? There are still ads that are waiting to be sold. (in fear.lee for example) but people are hesitant because they’re n0t sure it will work. Even though it’s more measurable and trackable.
It’s like there’s a perfect outlet for them that’s way more measurable that I think people are hesitant to embrace. It goes back to fear because it’s unfamiliar, it’s unproven and there’s an unfamiliarity about it that I think scares people. We’re really pushing the ground hard to try to figure out what makes sense. We’re approaching small and big advertisers that align with the fear.less brand, that are open to this type of digital advertising. That’s where we are now and we’re really optimistic about our opportunities. I don’t think I could have started something like this without being super hopeful and optimistic and persistent about where I could take it.
Shann: What, so far, has been the most valuable entrepreneurial experience or advice you want to share.
Ishita: In general from the project? I think what I’ve learned as an entrepreneur: Embrace Change. I can’t even tell you from one day to the next what I’m gonna be doing. That kind of drives me crazy, it really does. I’m the type of person that likes system and I like goals and I like to be able to know the next step. To be honest, I’m like to be straight up and up front about this because many people have an idea of what an entrepreneur is, and everyone does it differently. I want people to know that because it’s a very scary thing to not have a road map, to not know. There’s no “what is the next best step for this”. Nobody tells you that. A lot of people seek that out. While I desire that, I know I couldn’t necessarily operate like that. I just want to tell everyone out there that whether they’re starting a business or running a business or thinking about it, it’s certainly not easy, but it is definitely it’s definitely doable.
It’s kind of a crazy ride because you wear a lot of hats as an entrepreneur in the beginning, you’re doing everything. And then you refine a process and get a system in and maybe scale it to figure out a better way for yourself to be a part of it. You just have to know what type of a person you are. I never thought I could be able to do something like this and create my own map, but if you take it day by day and if you take it moment by moment and if you don’t overwhelm yourself with doing everything single thing at the same time — you know, a clock can only tick 24 hours in 24 hours, so what I’ve learned to do is take it moment by moment and focus on the next actionable step.
Another thing I always think about is that I seek out help. I have an incredible team of people that has been there from the beginning and I thrive on that. I like to do things alone, I’m primarily the main interviewer for the magazine, so I do enjoy that one-on-one interaction. But, I do have two or three people I work with that I call upon all the time and say, “Oh my god! What is going on with this magazine? What are we doing?!” And they are right there with me. I used to do the transcription myself and very quickly, after only two days, I realized there was no way I could ever interview, transcribe, and design – you just can’t do it all. Know your strengths and know that it’s not a weak thing or a bad thing at all to delegate. In fact, delegation is incredibly powerful.
Shann: Through this process, what have you learned from role models or mentors in your life?
Ishita: I have always been a big believer – and I can’t stress enough how often I think about this – that environment is more powerful than individual will. I always surround myself with like-minded people, with people that feed me in terms of emotional, spiritual, mental, physical positivity. It’s crucial for me to have energy around me that really pushes me forward.
To have Seth Godin as a mentor is a blessing, he’s been there for me since I started the magazine, and has guided and supported me along the way. And fear.less has become it’s own source of inspiration.Every single person I’ve interviewed for fear.less has become a part of who I am.
Learning something of value is exactly what I got from the interview experience. Whether it’s a tool that’s enabled me to overcome a particular challenge or whether a more general piece of advice for life, I think of William Ury, who, during the Cuban missile crisis AS a conflict negotiator and dealt with conflict all over the world, Even dealing with people like Hugo Chavez in Venezuela — pretty intense situations. You talk with someone like that and it’s like, “Oh my god, how am I ever going to relate to this person?” So then he says something like, “What I do when I’m in a moment of fear, is go outside or have a moment of alone time or I like to do what I call ‘go on the balcony’ and take a moment to myself and be in nature.” That’s a pretty powerful message. He is this incredible titan and leader who has made a lot of changes for all of us and what he’s telling me is that what he really seeks out is alone time or listening to his intuition or going outside and being in nature for a few minutes – that’s powerful for me because it’s simple. It’s something I can do too. It’s accessible and it’s doable and everyone has these moments where they need there own tools.
I have my own toolbox of things. I call it my toolbox because I use many different things – conventional reading and spirituality and I’m a big believer in the tools that work for me, like meditation to give you a personal example. Exercise – all these really little things that sometimes we overlook, but can make a difference, having good mentors around.
Never feel guilt or shame about not knowing something. It’s about knowing yourself and not feeling shameful about your feelings. I never like to make myself wrong about what I’m feeling. I always try to look at the situation as something that is there for a reason or something that I need to look at moment by moment and not make my feelings of fear, overwhelm or anxiety wrong. Accepting and allowing how you feel is something incredibly powerful to learn.
Shann: What is your overall message to an aspiring entrepreneur that is right on the cusp? What would your best advice to someone that is just ready to take the leap?
Ishita: There’s a couple things. I speak from my experience, you’re going to feel fear. You’re definitely going to because you’re pretty much jumping off the cliff and taking a risk that is unpredictable and has no particular outcome. And at the same time, what is life without a constant awareness of how you want to live it and what risks you are willing to take? How you want to be spending your time? If you’re an entrepreneur, I think you’re always straddling that edge of deep fear about what you’re doing and the deep understanding that you can’t do it any different. It’s definitely a paradox, it’s definitely a duality. This is something you should embrace and can embrace. I never in a million years thought I could be doing what I’m doing. I’m not Mother Theresa, I’m not doing something that is changing the world in many ways – I think it is in small ways and I hope it grows to do it on a big scale. The thing to remember for me is that you have to be able to follow your passion and drive because no one else is going to have your idea. No one else is going to do it the way you do, and quite frankly, no one should. There is no one right way.
Every entrepreneur I’ve talked to and encountered is winging it in their own way and sometimes failed and sometimes succeeded. But there’s only one you and only one unique person to do it the way you’re going to do it. I never believed my way was right and what I found is the more personal and the more ME that I try to be, the more people resonate with it. You never know who your story is going to resonate with, you never know who your idea is going to have an impact on, so you have to do it. You have to have a total blind faith in yourself because there’s no predictable result. And, you simply must have a positive group of people and totally nix out the naysayers. don’t for a second listen to anyone that gives you negative advice.
Shann: Beyond the magazine, how are you sharing the love with the world? Do you have a favorite charity or cause you support?
Ishita: Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been donating to an organization called the Smile Train, which repairs cleft lips and palates for kids all over the world. there is such a stigma associated with cleft lips and palates and it can ruin someone’s entire life. You can help a kid for $30 have a surgery and pretty much change the course of the kid’s entire life. There’s also a place near me called the Bowery Mission, it’s sort of like a homeless shelter and a food bank, which i used to donate to before they started spamming me. I also like to give to the Acumen Fund, which supports the growth of entrepreneurs in the developing world. Their motto is about sustainability and really solving the problem of poverty.
Shann: Is there anything else you’d like to share with the LOYT community?
Ishita: I think you’re really honest and this has been refreshing to find a community invested in sharing life-changing stories and inspirational material. Begin and do what you wish to do – there really is no right way. I’ve always had this belief that if you really have good intentions and you’re not quite sure how to do something, it really doesn’t matter. It really, really does not matter.
Your intentions will be helped along the way and as long as you persevere, and do not give up. You just have to be determined and do what ever it is you want to do and I think the universe will throw you a bone and help to make it happen. That’s been my experience and I can really only go from that.
Grab a copy of Fear.less at www.fearlessstories.com
Are You a Vulnerable Leader?
by Shann on Sep.08, 2010, under Inspiration, Life Coaching, Personal Development
The message in this article is incredible. Thanks to Mike Robbins for letting me share it with the True Balance Community. Enjoy!
Vulnerable Leadership
Vulnerable and leadership are not usually two words or concepts we put together. Most of us, myself included, have been taught that to be a “good leader” we have to be strong, convicted, and confident. “Never let ‘em see you sweat,” we’ve been told.
However, I believe it’s time for those of us who want to inspire, motivate, and lead others to step into our role as a leader with transparency, honesty, and vulnerability. As Mother Teresa said, “Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway.”
Some of us have specific leadership roles in life – we manage other people in our job, we’re the head of a company, team, committee, or organization, we’re involved in school or community activities where our job is to lead others, we write, speak, or coach other people about taking their lives to the next level, and much more.
And, even if we don’t hold a specific position of leadership in what we do, just about all of us have the opportunity to be leaders in various ways. In our families, with our friends, in our community, and in our work – we have the ability to influence others in a positive way and many of us have a deep deep desire to impact those around us.
What if instead of obsessing about being smart, qualified, strong, powerful, innovative, creative, and other conventional leadership qualities – we allowed ourselves to be vulnerable as a way of freeing us up from the intense pressure we often feel as leaders and as a way to influence people in an authentic way.
While it may seem counter-intuitive and can sometimes be a little scary, being a vulnerable leader is what I think is needed (and often missing) in our businesses, schools, churches, communities, governments, and our world today.
Here are some key principles of vulnerable leadership:
1) Admit and own your mistakes – We all make mistakes, especially as leaders. The more willing we are to admit and own our mistakes (not make excuses, point fingers, or avoid responsibility) the more others will trust us and want to follow our lead. Taking responsibility, apologizing, and making amends for the mistakes we make are not always easy things to do, but they’re essential for us to have true credibility with the people around us.
2) Share your fear and insecurity – Fear and insecurity are inseparable from being human and being a leader. We all get scared, but too often deny or avoid it, so as not to look weak. However, admitting our fear and sharing it with others does a few important things. First of all, it can free us up from the fear itself. Second of all, it allows others to realize we’re human. Third, it gives the people around us permission to feel and express their own fear, which is essential for individuals and groups if they’re going to come together and move through adversity. Sharing our fears with others is not something we do to make excuses or to dump our “stuff” onto other people, it’s a bold act of vulnerable leadership and something that can have a profound impact on those around us.
3) Don’t take yourself too seriously – It’s important for us to have a sense of humor and not get too full of ourselves, which is something many of us do, particularly as a leader. As I jokingly say to my wife Michelle sometimes, “Do you have any idea how important I think I am?” We must laugh at ourselves, notice when we get too serious, and have enough self awareness to keep things in a healthy perspective.
4) Share your own process, journey, and challenges – We’re always going through a process of growth, discovery, and challenge in life – especially as leaders. This process doesn’t have to be difficult or painful, although sometimes it can be. The more transparent we are about our own process and the more willing we are to let the people around us know what we’re dealing with, learning, and challenged by – the more we let them know who we truly are, give them insight into how we operate, and create an environment around us that is open, authentic, and conducive for individual and collective growth.
5) Ask for and receive help from others – As leaders most of us like to help others, but often we have a difficult time asking for and receiving help. Requesting help can be perceived, especially by us, as an admission of weakness or an acknowledgment that we’re not capable of doing something. However, all of us need help and support – and in some cases, we need a lot of it. Being the kind of leader who is comfortable enough with yourself and the people around you to admit when you don’t know something, can’t do something, or simply need help in making something happen, is not a sign of weakness; it’s both a sign of strength and an opportunity to empower others in an authentic way.
How willing are you to be vulnerable in your life? Where can you expand your capacity for vulnerability, especially as a leader? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more here.
Mike Robbins empowers individuals, teams, and organizations to be more productive, appreciative, and successful through his keynotes, seminars, writing, and consulting. He is the author of the audio program, The Power of Appreciation, a contributing author of Chicken Soup for the Single Parent’s Soul, the author of the best selling book, Focus on the Good Stuff (Hardcover, Jossey-Bass/Wiley) and the forthcoming book, Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken (Hardcover, Jossey-Bass/Wiley, April 2009).
Mike has been featured in Forbes, on the Oprah and Friends radio network, and on ABC News. He is a member of the National Speakers Association (NSA) and is a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP), NSA’s highest earned designation. Mike lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with his wife Michelle and their daughter Samantha.
Learn more about Mike and sign up for his free newsletter at www.Mike-Robbins.com
(Reprinted with Permission © Copyright 2008 Mike Robbins)










