True Balance

My talented and brilliant mentor coach,  Deb Martin shared some valuable information with me awhile ago about the 4 stages of transition.  This material along with my personal story have become a big part of the focus of my life coaching business.

The purpose of sharing the 4 stages of transition with you and my life coaching clients is to shine a light on human behaviors and feelings through the natural cycles of change.

Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.  -Martha Beck

Not too long ago, I made one of the most important decisions in my life. The promise to leave corporate America and give my entrepreneurial calling a shot.   When the corporate culture  I was immersed in changed to a game of micro-management, I began to feel a slow and certain suffocation. It was time to leave the job that was killing my soul.

Today I understand that without the extreme discomfort, I may have never allowed myself to follow my dreams.

Stage 1 - Discomfort

A change is coming on. You can feel it. You can smell it. But you might not be sure what the change is or what to do about it. The more you fight it and try to get logical about this change, the longer you’ll stay in the discomfort stage.

You may feel:

• Reluctant, Fearful, in Grief, Angry, Confused,Uncertain, Negative, Defensive, Reactive and Trapped.

• You may Distrust your decisions and your intuition.

• You are likely to Worry more than usual.

Recommendations:

• Stay with your routines that you know Work for you.

• Don’t Over Commit to others at home or at work.

• Allow yourself to go Internal when you need to.

Create a 10 Luscious Daily Habits list and stick to it. Make these “habits” nurturing, easy and fun. Now is not the time to try to lose weight or start a new exercise routine. Create habits that nurture you without calling up your willpower.

Items on my Luscious List:

Meditation, yoga, bubble baths, reading, watching the sunset, fresh flowers,
listening to great music, playing with my daughter, drinking a cup of tea and writing.

As important as it is to nurture yourself through your pain and discomfort, going internal is key to healing and flowing into a graceful transition.

Stage 2 - Going Internal

You may start to protect yourself from the discomfort and go internal. You detach from your “old” self in order to allow for your new change or transition.

You may become:

• Contemplative, Seeking, Questioning, Protective, Spiritual and often Emotional.

• You are likely Quiet, Detached and Withdrawn.

Recommendations:

• Journaling is a great activity at this stage.

• Sometimes reading can be helpful.

• Get yourself into nature, preferably alone.

• Walks on the beach, an evening around a warming campfire, digging in the dirt, a hike along a woodland path, collect pine cones or stones - Anything to immerse yourself in the great outdoors.

When you begin to heal from the discomfort by nurturing your mind, body and soul its time for exploration.

Stage 3 - Exploration

In this stage, you are starting to feel like you have some direction. You have an inkling, about your upcoming transition and what it’s all about. You are ready to learn more and give birth to this new change.

You may feel like:

• You are experiencing new Energy and Security.

• You become Optimististic, Confident, Willing to Experiment with New Ideas, and Learning.

• You are Eager to Dream about new possibilities.

• You are looking for a new path and ready to commit to it.

• You’re discovering a vision.

Recommendations:

• Read about new things and continue to journal.

• Explore relationships and new connections.

• Learn more about what interests you.

• Take a class. Get some training.

• Do something creative.

• Allow yourself to experiment.

Now that we have navigated  through the initial discomfort of a transition, going internal to heal ourselves and rolling up our sleeves to explore new frontiers, we are ready to move into the Renaissance stage.

Stage 4 - Renaissance

Your vision is becoming clear and you’re ready to live your dream .

You will experience:

• You are highly committed, creative and optimistic.

• You are also determined to make changes and do so at a much faster pace.

• Things seem to flow for you.

• Mentally and physically, you’re at the Top of Your Game.

• Everything is Possible.

Recommendations:

• Allow yourself to flow, Allow things to happen.

• Be in love with your new Discoveries and your new Energy.

• Ride the wave.

• Rejoice in your new found freedom.

Each transitional stage can last from weeks to months. You’ll move more quickly through a difficult stage if you honor yourself . Renaissance, feels like it will last forever. It doesn’t.        Transitional stages are cyclical …

What stage are you experiencing right now?

How long have you been in this stage?

What have you learned you need to do right now for yourself and to honor the stage you are experiencing?

After navigating the 4 steps of transition I have successfully reinvented myself by living my dream and have become an Unconventional Bohemian Goddess. The natural cycle of  discomfort, internal time, exploration and renaissance, allowed me to become a best selling author, certified yoga instructor and professional coach with a thriving life coaching practice.

Discovering your groove and creating a luscious life is all aboutallowing for grace through the transition.

The Talented Nathalie Lussier one of my Path of True Balance readers awarded me with the Kreativ Blogger Award. Thank you so much for your kindness Nathalie!

The award asks for 7 things we love, and 7 other bloggers who we think are deserving of the award.

___________________________________________________

7 Things I Love

1. My Loving and supportive family.
2. My brilliant and talented friends.
3. My amazing coach who never ceases to amaze me, make me laugh, and help me grow.
4. Fond memories of my time spent traveling in Germany, England, Bruges, Scotland, France and Luxembourg.
5. Connecting with other like minded people through twitter and various social networks.
   
6. Luscious Living through yoga, meditation and extreme self-care.
7. Teaching people how to honor their mind, body and soul on the path of true balance.
   

7 Deserving Blogs

1. Joyful Days: Daphne shares her strategies to happiness and experiences that help her focus on daily joy.
2. Living By Design: Ananga shares lifestyle choices that feel good and do you good. If you are interested in natural ways to reduce stress and improve your health - this site is for you.
3. Mom Grind: Vered DeLeeuw, a self described recovering lawyer discusses raising children, finances, feminism, blogging and more.
4. Delightful Work - An excellent blog about doing what you love and making a living out of it by my friend Tom Volkar.
5. IttyBiz - Once you’ve figured out how to monetize your passion, Naomi will show you how to market it.
6. Akashic Secrets - Evelyn is a kind soul, an intuitive consultant and prolific blogger. She is one of the most positive people on the planet.
7. Zen Habits - Leo is an amazing story teller and his blog covers the gamut of personal development. I love This blog!
   

A friend on twitter asked me to explain what the difference is between life coaching and therapy or counseling.

Here is my take about the differences, along with some interesting  data I gathered online.

Coaching does not focus on “why,” but on  “what now?”  The life coaching process shifts obstacles into plans and goals.  Always looking forward instead of analyzing the past.

Coaching is a good fit for a goal-oriented person who prefers to take responsibility for their processes and outcomes.  Coaches work with “highly-functioning” people.  Meaning the assumption is that the client is healthy, willing and fully capable of achieving their goals.  Clients who are looking for guidance and motivation.

Clients who do NOT perceive themselves in need of therapy may be more inclined to see a Life Coach, preferring a coaching model to a therapy model.

A Life Coach works closely with you to map out a game plan for creating what you want in your life.  A Coach stays with you throughout the process to guide you, create actionable plans, break down what holds you back and motivate you to move forward.  With life coaching, you will not analyze the past, but looks toward the future to figure out what to do next.

With a Life Coach, you will:

• Develop a Step-by-Step Plan of Action

• Focus on Future Goals, Not Past Issues

• Explore What Holds You back

• Celebrate Results

Differences Between Therapy and Life Coaching

Therapy

• Assumes the client needs healing

• Roots in medicine, psychiatry

• Works with people to achieve self-understanding

• Focuses on feelings and past events

• Explores the root of problems

• Works to bring the unconscious into consciousness

• Works for internal resolution of pain and to let go of old patterns

Life Coaching

• Assumes the clients is highly-functional

• Roots in business and personal growth venues

• Works to motivate people to a higher level of functioning.

• Focuses on actions and the future; goal-orientation

• Focuses on solving problems

• Works with the conscious mind

• Works for solutions to overcome barriers, learn new skills and implement effective choices

Comparison Source: Hayden, C. J., and Whitworth, L. “Distinctions Between Coaching and Therapy.”