True Balance

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In Balance -Shann

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” -Benjamin Spock

I’ve witnessed and been involved in situations where personal power is traded for acceptance and peace at any cost. Life coaching clients, family, friends and yours truly,  can find ourselves in situations where we relinquish our personal power and over-empower others.

If you are a highly sensitive creature like I am,  these encounters can bring forward feelings of sadness, betrayal and confusion.

Recently I was involved in a conversation about subject matter I knew very little about. Upon spelunking into the conversation, to share an example of my rudimentary understanding, I was pounced on and treated like a fool.  It never occurred to me I would be attacked for sharing my point of view.  The exchange was unsettling because I am strong, intelligent and creative.  Instead of saying Shove Off,  I let myself slide into a place of insecurity.

I gave my power to a person who was in the mood to behave badly.

The next day my husband and I discussed the scene and he counseled me to shrug off the encounter.  Then, my brilliant husband asked me why I’d given my power away?

Great question from the all knowing and loving oracle!

In this particular instance,  I knew I was out gray mattered by a person who spent years interested in areas of study I had only just begin to think about. BUT, I thought it was safe to climb in, share and explore.  When the terrain became to challenging,  I tried to explain my position, eventually lost my footing and slipped away into a sink hole.

This encounter led me to dive deeper into the curious cave of personal power and trust.  Owning your power is an integral part of personal happiness, fulfilling connections and achieving your potential.  You give your power away when you make someone outside of you more important than what you hold inside of you.

You give away your power when you …

* Doubt yourself.
* Try to make everyone happy.
* Over-empower others by looking for approval and validation, giving them the power to hurt you.
* Forget that you know what you’re doing, and you are good at it.
* Have poor boundaries.
* Allow yourself to be intimidated by bluster and emotional assaults from other people.
* Don’t honor and share your truth.

You keep your power when  you …

* Learn to say “No” and mean it.
* Stand up for yourself and believe in yourself, no matter what.
* Stand on the courage of your convictions.
* Ask for what you need and want.
* Embrace the fact you have the right be treated respectfully by other people.
* Be detached and practice detachment by observing other people’s behavior without attachment to the outcome.
* Spend time with people who are kind and considerate in the midst of a spirited discussion.

Owning your power means speaking your truth, honoring your sensitivity, and believing in yourself. Your life experience, education, personal relationships, and curiosity make you wise.  Always believe in yourself and if need be, tell the bullies to shove off!

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Buddha